Self and the shadow

Painting by Abishek Bhat

A speck of dust floating through endless space,

Waltzing, dancing, and sliding to wherever the wind blows,

With all its innocence.

A speck of dust floating through endless space,

Gathers its mass,

As it waltzes, dances and slides.

A speck of dust turns around to notice its tail,

Overwhelmed by the beautiful and the ugly, the good and the evil,

A speck of dust is no longer innocent.

I am not a speck of dust or so I feel,

I am the good and I am the beautiful,

This makes me me and happy or so I feel.

I am the good and I am the beautiful,

Yet, I feel ugly and evil;

Why this delirious dichotomy?

I am the ugly and I am the evil,

Yet, I yearn to be the good and the beautiful;

Why this capricious cacophony?

I forgot who I am,

I went wherever the wind blew,

I went along, casting my shadow.

Am I true? Am I authentic?

Am I pure?

Am I free like a speck of dust floating through endless space?

I am no longer a speck of dust,

I am no longer the good, the evil, the beautiful or the ugly;

Rejecting identity is the antidote to this precarious (bi)polarity.