Dipping my hand in the staff biscuit tin my phone flashes up with a message from my sister saying, “Look up Skinny Coffee”.
Jammy Dodger in mouth I quickly type Skinny Coffee into Google (whilst, naturally, quoting Friends to myself)… “Skinny: good. Coffee: goooood.”
Within seconds I had ordered: “28 DAY WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM — SEE VISIBLE RESULTS IN JUST ONE WEEK”. Exciting.
Then I realised I should probably read some reviews.
Skinny Coffee Club claims that their coffee decreases hunger, increases metabolism, motivates and energises and enhances stamina and fitness. Diet and exercise are not required, although it is recommended. Reviews are positive with some people claiming to lose 6 pounds in just a week!
OK, so on paper the coffee sounds good. I mean really good. But you know what they say about things that sound too good to be true…
The cost is £24.95 for 28 days’ worth, but I got 20% off with discount code “NEWME”, taking the price down to a nifty £19.96. PLUS, free worldwide delivery. Thank you. Now, if my calculations are correct — 28 days divided by £19.96 equals a wonderful £1.40 per cup — HALF THE PRICE I PAY FOR MY MORNING COFFEE. Skinny: check. Coffee: check. Saving money: CHECK.
Don’t get me wrong, I am the least likely person to ever try a “fad” diet (I mean, I haven’t even really tried a “normal” diet). Too hungry. I’ve always been quite petite (short) and a size 8–10 but lately the pounds have been piling on and I’ve felt at a complete loss. I have spent the past few months blaming my pill, the weather, my age (cry), my desk job, pregnancy (no chance), lack of sleep, Christmas (obvs), and the latest one, the Full Moon. Damn that moon making me all grumpy and fat. Definitely the moon and not the pack of bourbons I had for dinner. Anyway, turns out I have put on a little winter weight, and I do not care for it.
Enter Skinny Coffee.
Look at it in all its brown bag glory. Kinda small for £19. 96… #justsaying. Some grammatical errors on the label #interesting. But it is a re-sealable bag. #handy
DAY 1: The Reveal
Looks like coffee. Smells like coffee. Tastes like… soil.
OK, it’s not that bad. The best way I can describe it is it tastes like a mix between coffee and Green Tea. Coffee: good. Green Tea: …OK-ish.
I used my new cafetiere-for-one, poured it into my travel mug and sipped it all the way to work. Honestly? It tastes OK — if you like the taste of earth. I didn’t add any milk or sugar, but I’m thinking a little milk might be welcome. I’ll see how the next few cups go down…
DAY 2: Priorities
I skipped day 2. Apologies. I was too damn tired and chose sleep over coffee-making. Believe me, I struggled for the rest of the morning!
DAY 2, TAKE 2: Dieting is a Breeze…
Coffee in mug. Soil taste bearable. We’re on a roll.
DAY 3: Stay off the pizza, kids
OK, without sharing too much information, I haven’t been to the toilet in a while — maybe a couple of days… Not sure if it’s coffee or pizza blockage. I feel it’s important you know this before starting out. Bloated is an understatement right now.
DAY 4: Happy Monday
To quote Bridesmaids… “It’s coming out of me like lava”. Coffee, pizza, and whatever else has left the building. Happy Monday to me.
DAY 5: Onwards and upwards (outwards)
I don’t know if this coffee agrees with me but I’m cracking on.
DAY 6: And we’re on a roll
This is fine slash okay.
DAY 7: Still rolling
This is so okay. I could drink this twice a day.
DAY 8: The Black-Coffee-Drinking-Grown-Up
Genuinely think I might start drinking my normal coffee black after this. It’s so much easier than I thought. This is a new beginning, a new me, a new black-coffee-drinking-grown-up me.
DAY 9: The Hangover
I added milk this morning. I’m hungover. I NEED milk in my coffee. As well as 20 chicken nuggets in my mouth.
DAY 10: Milk grieving
Fine slash okay again (I miss milk).
DAY 11–13: We’re rolling
Honestly, this seems easy. OK, I’ve missed a couple of days but I’m back on track. I got this!
DAY 14: Rolling
Soil is good.
DAY 15–17: Still rolling
It’s never an enjoyable taste, I have to be honest, but it definitely becomes the norm. ALSO, I feel like my stomach is much less bloated than usual. This is the first day I’ve truly noticed a difference and it feels GOOD.
Confirmed. This is stuff is good. It does a better job at waking me up than my usual coffee! I drink it every morning on the way to work and by the time I step off the train I’m alive and, dare I say, sprightly.
OK, I am definitely less bloated as a person since drinking Skinny Coffee. On a serious note, I struggle with bloating on a daily basis, but I never have the patience to figure out what’s actually causing it. This coffee seems to keep it at bay no matter what I eat! Weight loss or no weight loss, this is a huge positive. Considering how I felt on day 3… this is a delightful surprise. If you suffer from a bloated belly, I would honestly say, give it a try. I’m no doctor but it’s helping me out, and I feel a lot better for it!
As Skinny Coffee claims it works without diet or exercise, I decided to continue as I usually do with my normal eating habits (a relatively healthy diet with the odd pack of biscuits here and there) and only swapped my morning coffee for a Skinny Coffee. Little slash no exercise was involved. And the result…Despite not following the rules exactly (skipping the odd day and adding some milk here and there), I lost 5 pounds whilst drinking Skinny Coffee. 5 pounds! I’d say that’s pretty impressive. Congrats to the magical beans. It was an easy way to shed some extra pounds and I have no doubt that if you followed their guidelines precisely, you’d lose even more weight than I did. For something that took virtually no effort and changed nothing about my day, I think it’s worth it and I’ll definitely be re-purchasing before bikini season! Everyone is different and it may not work for some people but I’d say it’s worth a go. Something to try in the New Year? Why not?
Anyway, I’m off for a Latte with extra cream. See ya, Skinny!
Side note: If you want to lose weight, do it to be healthier — not hotter. Do it to feel great — not look great. We all have rolls, we all have stretch marks and I personally have an extra chin most of the time. But you know what, that’s okay.