I really identify with aspects of this. My answer to it all is a downer because I've accepted I am going to struggle financially and live very humbly. I am going to do multiple different kinds of jobs to piece together an income using the skills I actually have. And I am not going to try to do a job I don't have much skill in. And I am still going to make room for joy somehow, such as watercolor painting just to paint and walking on a nature reserve that doesn't charge a fee to use.