She, Her, I, and Me.

Took me 36 years to be born again. Looked into the mirror and saw my reflection for the first time and loved it.

In the shadows I saw the reflection of HER. I hated her. The one who always saw the beauty in everyone but me. She was so hurt so abused so pained and neglected by Her.

She put on airs because she did not want to be rejected because of Her. She was the perfect reflection.

She was my justification for every inappropriate decision. I would say, “She made me do it.” She always took the blame for Her. She and I shared every experience with Her. She was my best friend but I hated Her.

She was spoiled and rotting on the inside. She cursed, She drank, She smoked with Her. She used them thick thighs and squinty eyes to fill voids deep on the inside.

She was contemplating while I was meditating on how to end the relationship with her. I hated her. Her was always standing in the way fronting while She always took a plea to the charge.

I listen to Her on blogtalk, Angry while She and I sat back and watched the numbers fly high in the ratings. She and I take a seasons off to re-cooperate from Her.

She wanted to heal thyself. She sought consultation from the likes of Sebi and Maa. Wanted to fast sexually before joining with another physically. Spiritually she was ready but physically I wanted her mental to be committed. Crazy.

She started building walls since I was 5 almost 7 feet High to hide her. I started taking the charges and She accepted them for value and bought Her out. Little did I know, She still had use for Her and She kept Her for Her self.

I was in a better place. I saw no one standing in the way. I was moving forward. She and I relationship blossomed. She said it was time to take down the walls. I hesitated. What am I going to do with her. She said we will cross that bridge when the time was near.

I took down a few inches. I met love and we had a primordial attraction. We connected. I immediately disclosed my relationship that I had with She and Her so love would not be distracted. Love manifested Love. I womanifested Love. Love followed. I was baptized. Born Again. I arrived with no passengers.

See…Love was the perfect height for those walls. Love broke down those walls and finally saw Her. Love saw that I was vulnerable. Love protected me. When love got weary I started wondering where is She?!?! Panicking. She was in need of healing. She was sick from building all of those walls. She was dying because she had kept Her Sickness which spread, penetrating! I finally had to admit I was addicted to Her.

Love was disappearing. I blamed Her.

I was in love with love and assumed love would take care of her.

I love love. Love disappeared when I was not looking. I searched and searched and searched and searched. I Looked into the mirror and saw Her reflection. She looked right at me with Her eye(s). She was not in the shadows. Angry, I asked Her where was She? Where is Love? What did you do with Love? I heard Her voice and She said” I am Love.” I am Her. Please take care of me.

I Looked into the mirror again and saw the reflection. I did not see Her. I saw me. 36 years I had been waiting to find me. Now Love is safe and at home with me.