7 Signs You Are Ready For A Family Gap Year
A midlife crisis is a good thing.
Have you heard of a “gap year” or “sabbatical”? Some college students take a year off between high school and college, or college and the start of their career. Some people take a year off work to go travel the world.
During a family gap year you are uprooting your entire household: your spouse, your kids, your pets. And leaving. For the entire year. Why would you do that? Because you feel as you cannot go on without a break. Not just a vacation break. You need a longer break, a one-year long break. With your kids.
What about the mortgage payments? The bills? The students loans? The kids’ school? The kids’ friends? The after-school activities?
I had those same questions. Because I kept thinking about and fearing the answers to those questions, I kept shoving my desire for a family gap year aside, until I couldn’t any more. I feared problems, but then, there would always be solutions if I could see past the fear.
Mortgage payments? We will rent the house to cover mortgage payments. The job? We will find a location-independent job. Is it hard? Yes, but if there is a will, there is a way. The student loans? We have to really get that other job.
The kids’ school? Homeschool or unschool for a year. Maybe they will go to a school in a different county and learn another language. Heck with the school. After-school activities? There will be so much world schooling going on during this year, they will gain a lot more than those activities. Friends? We will have to Skype. And we will make new friends.
How did I come up with these signs of readiness for a family gap year? I felt ready, and was constantly bombarded by all the reasons we needed to go away for a year. My husband? That took some time. Almost a year of convincing, pleading, presenting arguments, research, nagging… I am getting close.
Now. The Signs.
#1 You feel UNFULFILLED
You are bored, yet, you have plenty to do. You have your home to take care of, your job, your kids, you spouse, your friends, your family. But something in your soul is knocking on the door. Something is unfulfilled. Adventure is missing. You are tired of the automated life you live in. Maybe it’s a surbubia syndrome? The hamster wheel? The rat race?
You are dreading going to the grocery stores, shopping online is annoying. Getting in the car. Getting out of the car. Getting gas. Life has become so perfect, that it has turned into a monotonous routine. You are already planning your next trip or vacation, knowing that one week will not be enough. It will just scratch the surface of your “I am bored with my perfect life” problem.
#2 You Don’t Love Your Job
You may have loved you job or occupation in the past, but for some reason, you passion is weaning. You are stressed out, or bored. Maybe you should be changing jobs, or starting a second career. Maybe you still like you job, but the entrepreneur in you wants something of your own.
Or, if you have been staying at home with kiddos, you wonder what is that path you need to take to find yourself. If you have a professional degree from before, you may have doubts about continuing with that degree. You have all these questions, but can’t figure out where the answer lies.
#3 You Have a Midlife Crisis And a Bucket List
What is that midlife crisis? Is it the time when you realize you are roughly half way there? Wow. Is this how my life is gonna look like for the rest of my existence?
I struggled with defining this term for me. I came up with a definition this way: I sat down and made a bucket list of things I wanted to do in my life. Things that mattered to me. Things that couldn’t wait anymore. The biggest bucket list item was travel: world schooling my kids and myself.
Since “travel” and “world schooling” were big on my list, family gap year was a perfect, if not the only, possible way to take care of that bucket list item now.
#4 You Are Not Happy With The School System Your Kids Are In
Your kids may love their school. Or not. The school may be one of the best schools in the area, in the state, etc. There may be technology available, resources, teachers may be great. But you are still not satisfied with the school system, because it may too limiting, stifling your kids imagination and spirit. Or, it may be a really bad experience you kids are having in the school, and you can’t wait to get them out.
In my case, everything was perfect, everything felt great, and our school system was amazing. My oldest child was in a special needs program, and I was so absolutely grateful for the people that took care of my daughter. My second daughter was in 4th grade, and she loved her school. And I was still unsatisfied.
I was not happy with the fact that they got home around 3 pm. I wanted to see more of my kids. I wasn’t happy that we couldn’t just take a month off and go somewhere to explore a new place. I was not happy with the curriculum the kids had to adhere too, without opportunity to devote more time to what interested them the most.
I loved the schools, I loved the teachers, but my heart was set on taking the kids out of the school system for the entire year. The family gap year will either make me love homeschooling, or prove to me that I should be grateful for the school we have and return back to our normal schooled life.
#5 You Want To Improve Relationships With Your Family, But Don’t Know How
This is a tough one. The relationships with your kids and with your spouse are the most important ones in your life. Yet, we often don’t have the time to work on them. We don’t have time to spend on each other. I, myself, as a busy mom of four, constantly run errands and do chores. Talk about a hamster wheel.
I try to take time to notice my kids and my hubby and give them undivided attention, but it is a difficult task considering all of my obligations. I joke often that our house is too big; that if we had a tiny house, we would have more time for each other.
How do we find all that extra time to hike, hang out, go to the park, read together, play chess, while running a household?
We always reconnect better with our closest family on vacations. We are not hung up on our daily routines when we are away from home. We notice things around us together, and we notice each other.
What if being in another place for the entire year could help us bond? What if, by having that full year to travel and spend time together, we could connect on a deeper level with our kids and our spouse, and improve our relationships?
#6 You Want To Learn More
You feel this innate desire to expand your knowledge of the world, the history, the geography, the cultures, the knowledge of life and its ways in the world. You may read a lot, but not a lot is retained. You learn best about the place by visiting it and immersing yourself in it, embedding under the surface.
You are amazed at the diversity of the world and all that is waiting for you to be found. You only know of the western ways and values you grew up with, but you know there is more out there, and your mind craves more substance.
You may have been fascinated by Western Civilizations and European cultures and history, by you cannot learn about Rome without living there for some time. You may want to visit Asia and learn about its rich culture. You can’t wait to explore the world and learn about it firsthand.
And you cannot wait to show the world to your kids. Yes, they may not perceive it and take in the history lessons the same way you do, but they will still remember learning about it with you.
#7 Your Heart Tells You To Go Travel
That wanderlust feeling you can’t get rid of. That subconscious that tells you that the places out there need you to visit them, experience them, explore them. These places will change you. You are desperate for that change.
You will visit new places and leave footprints, and a part of your heart will stay there. These places need your footprints and you. More than that, these places need the footprints of your family. How else can you encapsulate this precious time in your life, the time of raising little human beings in this big world, when life is passing by us so fast. When else are you going to travel for a year with your kids, if not now?
Do you recognize any of the above signs? Do you recognize all of the above signs? You are not crazy. You are just ready for a family gap year. Time to start packing.
