Deep Breath

Amari
Amari
Aug 25, 2017 · 2 min read

As soon as I walk into Luther General Hospital, the eerie silence and the smell of disinfectant hits me. How could such a big place feel so empty, I think to myself. My mother and I walk to the end of the hallway and push the elevator button. Waiting felt like an eternity, it was as if I was watching myself age in the reflection of the elevator doors. When it finally arrives, my mother and I step in, where the wait was surprisingly not long. The music was classical, and perfect for this moment, it soothed my rattled nerves. The rhythm of the piano from low notes to high, I place the song it’s Fur Elise by Beethoven one of my favorite classical songs. The elevator door opens and we walk straight ahead towards the reception desk. As my mother gives her all the information the lady needs, I look around observing the other people in the room, wondering what brought then here. An older women and I make eye contact, I quickly look away to avoid any awkwardness. The receptionist says we are all set and that we can take a seat and wait to be called. As soon as we are about to seat I am called up. Thank god, I want to get this over with, I said to myself. After changing into a uncomfortable paper dress that feels too revealing, they hook me up to an IV. I remember the nurse stabbed my arm twice before deciding to try a vain on the back of my hand. Then suddenly this feels real, it’s about to happen and its all too much to take, and I break down crying. Both the nurse and my mother rush to my side, my mother of course holds my hand, “I just going to give you something to relax”, said the nurse. Seconds later the tears stop and the panic is gone but I can still feel my heart beat twice as normal. A few moments later my surgeon walks in to check up on me, “Hello Amari! Just to double check we are doing a surgical removal of a benign tumor,”. I don’t know if it’s the drugs or if I’ve finally come to terms to whats happening, but I take a deep breath and I’m ready.

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