Solo: A Star Wars Story — Movie Review

I thought this was a pretty poor excuse for a film. I’ve felt that way ever since Lord and Miller got fired from their director’s chairs and they got blasted by Kathleen Kennedy.

I thought it was just something you don’t do. But now that I’ve seen the script, it’s rather obvious why Lord and Miller decided to embellish it. It’s just a nothing script. It doesn’t give you anything you don’t already know.

If you’re doing a movie on one of the best known heroes of the Star Wars series, you should have something new to offer, because that’s what the fans are paying for. Everyone loves Han Solo.

He’s a ruffian, he’s a fighter. He’s cute when he has to be, He’s a scruffy looking nerf herder. You know, he’s basically an all-around anti-hero wrapped up into one. He’s James Dean without the attitude.

You know you would like to know something more about him. Or about his family. Where did he come from? How’d he get the Millennium Falcon: the fastest ship in the galaxy. How did he meet Chewy, and to just do more hero worship. But you kinda get none of that, It’s just like old men sitting around the campfire, swapping old war stories.

Half of this stuff could have been cribbed from old footage of A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back where he’s maneuvering the ship through asteroid fields. You know what I’m talking about? It’s just- it’s just like a highlight reel of Michael Jordan playing basketball. But it doesn’t go any deeper. It doesn’t talk about Michael Jordan when he was cut from his Junior basketball team.

Solo A Star Wars Story - Movie Review

And he came back and wowed everyone as a senior. That’s the kind of thing the fans want to see in Solo and that’s not what they’re getting.

I feel kind of bad for Alden Ehrenreich, because Hayden Christiansen doesn’t really have the career he had when he was in The Phantom Menace. And this kid was in Hail Caesar which I think was a better film. Mind you, Hail Caesar wasn’t a great film. I thought it was more cohesive than this film. So it just needs more of everything. You know, it needs more interesting characters who are not Chewbacca.

It needs, behind the scenes, “What is Han Solo Thinking?” You know, what motivates him. I think, George Lucas always had a hard time writing dialogue, But he really got into the characters and that’s why we love Luke Skywalker: the boy who’s gazing up at the sky wondering what his fortune will be.

Don’t waste your money on this one. I think you’d be much happier if you go to see Deadpool 2 again or Avengers, or something else because this movie stinks. I wasn’t ever for this “Disqualification” of Star Wars, because they’re just running the whole franchise into the ground.

The minute I saw Darth Vader in the Disney commercial for promoting Disney World, running around with Mickey Mouse. That isn’t Darth Vader and I’ll say it over and over again until my mouth runs dry. They don’t really know. They don’t have respect for Star Wars. They’re just making money. This is just a money grab.

You have better things do do with your money because it’s Memorial Day. So go rent A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back Jedi and the Phantom Menace, go relive some real Star Wars memories instead of this warmed over stripped movie, with nothing in it.

Does Solo blast the Star Wars thrills into hyperspace?

Let’s just say it’s an exciting but still family-friendly ride. Featuring a cast of both new and familiar faces, this action-packed prequel tells the origin story of the galaxy’s most beloved pilot and smuggler, Han Solo. “If you come with us, you’re in this life for good.”

Just like a trip on the Millennium Falcon, Solo is full of sci-fi action and intense battles. We’re talking laser shoot-outs, explosions, and wild chase scenes.

Solo A Star Wars Story - Movie Review

And while the body count is pretty high, there’s not much blood or gore. Acting like “Let go of the mean man’s face.”

As for other iffy stuff, look out for some salty language, innuendo, and more kissing than your typical Star Wars movie.

Message-wise, the story promotes equal rights for all creatures, including androids, plus the importance of teamwork and courage.

Solo is Ok for kids 10 and up, grown ups might get a bad time through the horrible acting, awful writing and total lack of charisma.


Originally published at Lonely Dark World.