Fear is your Friend

Have you ever started your day with fear and ended with it?

Yes, I am one of those people who has experienced this. I am fearful of almost everything I do and I have to do. In other terms, I am an imposter. I seriously think that I am not good at anything and everyone is going to find this out someday/sometime.

Today I woke up early, went for a morning run, came back home and had my breakfast. Then, I left for work and as soon as I reach my workplace this strange feeling hits me. Well well, what could it be? “Fear it is.

This strange feeling has been hitting me for years now and it’s an absolutely disgusting thing to have because you cannot control it. “So, what is this fear all about?” — you may ask. The answer is: I don’t know. This is what’s strange about my kind of fear. I simply cannot determine what I am worried about. It’s the fear of nothing which slowly evolves to fear of everything. What this means is even small and not so important things can and will worry me.

Let me explain:

Today, we had this Futsal thing going on at our office. Basically, we are having an internal Futsal tournament soon so we needed to make teams for it. I don’t know how but I was made one of the captains. Thus, I would have to be involved in a bidding process to select players along with the other 3 captains. This was the first thing I was fearful today. I was not sure who to bid and how my team would turn out to be. Thankfully it did turn out well and we have a good team that will compete in the tournament.

Secondly, I have been trying to fix one issue from past two days with no success. Actually, I’ve not been able to give more time to it thus it’s still not solved and keeps bugging me. Also, it’s not that big of an issue to take two days of time and still not get resolved. One thing that fear does is makes me impatient. I just cannot concentrate on things for more than few minutes. This has become a very big problem for me and it has slowed me down significantly in terms of work.

Then the last thing for today was going to Speakers Club. Every Thursday we have this internal toastmasters session at work which helps us improve our public speaking and communication skills. It’s a great session to be in but today this feeling was so bad that I did not want to go. However, I had to be in the session because I am one of the few registered members of the club and it would not look good if I was not there. With a heavy heart, I went to the session only to be more afraid that the Table Topics Master would call me to speak in front of all the members. Instead of the Table Topics Master calling me in front, I somehow gathered strength and raised my hand to speak. The theme for the session was to “sell products” and the topic I got was to sell t-shirts that would change color on every wash. So, I went in front and started talking about the t-shirts and why everyone should buy them. I also made some false accusations to make the speech more interesting. Finally, the session ended with the announcement of the winners and to my surprise, I was the winner of the Table Topics session. My fear quickly turned into joy and I was obviously very happy. I also received some chocolates as a result.

These are just some examples of how fear can be like to me. Anything from not so important tasks to important ones will get affected by it. Fear has somehow become a part of me. I think it will remain the same for the rest of my life and I can’t do anything about it. This is in no way a bad thing to have apart from the hair loss and the occasional tension it brings. And yes, it is frustrating at times.

“There are two kinds of people in the world. 1. The Fearful and 2. Liars”
 — Not Mark Twain

Everyone must have experienced fear in one way or the other. But did you ever know that fear is your friend? Being fearful will help you reach new heights. This doesn’t mean that you have to be fearful to everything that’s coming your way. It means that fear can drive you.

Have you ever been in a situation where you need to finish your work before a specified time but you did not do the work until the last moment? I think many of us have been through this kind of situation and we’ve prevailed out successfully. This is a perfect example where fear drove you to do something you may or may not were willing to do. Somehow you were able to complete or partially complete the work before things went out of hand.

Don’t let fear bog you down. Let the fear drive you.
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