What I learned from Youtube Sermons

This summer, I am working on my relationship with God. Therefore, I committed to making small changes to help redirect my focus. I bought more Christian books, started a 90-day challenge to become the woman God wants me to be (it’s kicking me in the tail, to be honest), and started to watch less Netflix and more Youtube sermons in my free time.

Through all of these various changes, I was like a sponge soaking up all this new information and I decided to share some of my favorite lessons I have learned.

One, I am extremely selfish. I never realized how selfish I was until I noticed every time I talked to God was to discuss my problems. I could never talk to God without talking about myself. I was good at asking Him what I wanted Him to do for me but never asking what He needed me to do. So now, some days I just lay in my prayer space and remain silent. I thank Him for everything He has done and recognize Him for how awesome He is. I take a lot for granted, and He can’t give you more if you don’t appreciate all He has already given.

Two, how great God is. I often think if one day God appeared and said, “J’Taime… honestly, I’m tired of doing all of this. Could you take over for a little bit? Don’t forget to raise the sun every morning, or wake this list of people up, make sure these baby cubs get born and also that it rains in this area because these plants need to grow…. Ohhhh and answer all these prayers, but decline these because I’ve got something better…” the list can and does go on. I would lose it. If you ever need proof of how great God is, imagine having to run the world by yourself. Imagine having to do all the various things He does, and not missing a beat. Our minds can’t even comprehend how awesome our God is and that’s so beautiful. But also with that, God is God. We should stop trying to put Him into a box. You will never be able to understand what God is doing in your life, but you need to trust Him because He has your best interest. Often we compare God to humans and expect Him to act like us. God does not communicate like us, He is far more intelligent than us and knows what is best for us. Stop thinking you have God figured out because you don’t. Also read Job. The end of that chapter put a lot into perspective about how great God is.

Three, what you pray for brings tests. Whew. This was the hardest thing that I had to learn and I am still learning. You can not pray for patience and not expect to get tests that will build your patience. Over this summer, I prayed for God to mold me into a better woman. As soon as I got to Memphis, I felt like I was greeted by old demons before I even greeted my mother. Everything from my past collided to meet me, and I was a wreck. I couldn’t expect God to mold me into the woman He wants me to be and not expect to go through storms. I was asking God to transform me, but resisting Him for making me uncomfortable. I was asking for breakthroughs, but not expecting to get broken. In order for me to be transformed, I have to look at all of the things I was trying to hide. God put it all out for me to see. I was still holding on to the past in my relationship with my parents, holding on tightly to broken situations, developing a major attitude problem, and my energy was wack. God pushed it all out in the front and forced me to deal with it, well… I’m still dealing with it. Sometimes the prayers you pray will bring storms. Once you put in your destination and you let God lead, there will be roadblocks, traffic, and detours… the destination never changes and neither does your passenger, Jesus. So welcome these storms, it’s always fun to sing in the rain.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”-James 2:6

Four, waiting is difficult. Waiting on God to answer your prayers is difficult. You’re waiting on Him to give you an answer and it seems like you’re on do not disturb. He’s not going to come down in a clear voice and scream the answer. In order for you to hear God, you must first know what He sounds like. Sometimes, we can ask God for something and He could be answering. You’re just so busy with your own stuff, you don’t even recognize His voice. You have to get quiet and spend time with Him in order to hear Him. You also have to trust Him. He’s not going to stop midway and come down and send you updates. People in the Bible waited for years for their answers, but when they got them it was worth the wait. The question isn’t how long you should wait, but what are you going to do with your time while you wait. Will you get a new hobby? Pick out some new books? Try and do more volunteer work? Go on an adventure around the city? What exactly will you do? Waiting for an answer doesn’t mean life has to stop. Develop yourself and keep it moving. Build yourself during the wait, and thank God for the time He gives you to allow you to grow.

Lastly, Love is always there. With the presence of social media nowadays it can seem like everyone is finding “Love”. I love, Love. I love the idea of it and I would love to be in love. But sadly, I’m looking for love in all the wrong places. I’ve been expecting love to look a cookie-cutter way and that’s not reality. Love is a mother who goes out of her way for me. Love is a father who works several jobs so I am secure. Love is having friends who support you through thick and thin. Love is having people pick up certain things you like to make you happy. Love is having someone push you every day to reach your full potential and being a better person. Love is someone you can laugh with over stupid things. God is love and love is God. Love is floating around everywhere, and we often miss it chasing after what we think it is. Learn how to notice love, and you’ll never stop seeing her.

None of this means that I’m perfect, that I won’t mess up, or that I know all the answers to life. I surely don’t and I will mess up daily. It’s 12:01 pm and I am 100% positive I already have actually. But in this short time from switching some things out and learning God, I have seen Him work on my heart and reveal various lessons to me. He’s working on me and it’s pretty cool to see how much more confident I am growing. I could have stayed in Knoxville, but by being in Memphis I’m more uncomfortable than I have ever been and I love it.

Side Note: If you want a reference to these youtube sermons, books, or anything in general just let me know! I’ll send some suggestions to you!

Your relationship with God is not a goal that you’re trying to reach. It’s a daily walk… and each day will be difficult. I’m excited for my upcoming year because I’m developing tools to help but it’s kinda cool knowing you have such a mighty soul on your side to fight for you.