RIP

Bad Poetry

~

When it fell to the ground,

So did my aching heart,

Tears flowed from my eyes

Like philosophy from Descartes.

~

My life was truly over;

How could I go on?

No one could console me,

Not even my pal, Juan.

~

Juan is pretty chill and all,

but life is pretty sucky.

When this happened, I knew for sure

I’m really damn unlucky.

~

When it fell to the ground,

So did my breaking heart.

I was the opposite of a kid in a candy store

With an overflowing cart.

~

I couldn’t think, I couldn’t move,

I couldn’t even speak.

This feeling, take my word for it,

Was super duper unique.

~

RIP in peace to poor ol’ me,

No one has ever felt this pain.

Except for maybe those of you

Who have met my aunt Lorraine.

~

Believe it or not, she’s actually real;

I didn’t make this up.

This poem may be fictional,

But she’s, legit, an awful grownup.

~

Anyway, like I said,

I literally almost died.

I cried and cried and cried and cried

And cried and cried and cried.

~

When it fell to the ground,

I let out an agonized scream,

And mourned the loss of a fine, fine scoop

Of Rocky Road with brownie bites, rainbow sprinkles, and hot fudge ice cream.

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