Bad Poetry


When it fell to the ground,

So did my aching heart,

Tears flowed from my eyes

Like philosophy from Descartes.


My life was truly over;

How could I go on?

No one could console me,

Not even my pal, Juan.


Juan is pretty chill and all,

but life is pretty sucky.

When this happened, I knew for sure

I’m really damn unlucky.


When it fell to the ground,

So did my breaking heart.

I was the opposite of a kid in a candy store

With an overflowing cart.


I couldn’t think, I couldn’t move,

I couldn’t even speak.

This feeling, take my word for it,

Was super duper unique.


RIP in peace to poor ol’ me,

No one has ever felt this pain.

Except for maybe those of you

Who have met my aunt Lorraine.


Believe it or not, she’s actually real;

I didn’t make this up.

This poem may be fictional,

But she’s, legit, an awful grownup.


Anyway, like I said,

I literally almost died.

I cried and cried and cried and cried

And cried and cried and cried.


When it fell to the ground,

I let out an agonized scream,

And mourned the loss of a fine, fine scoop

Of Rocky Road with brownie bites, rainbow sprinkles, and hot fudge ice cream.

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