How To Tell If You’ve Moved On
if you’re wondering whether or not you’re over someone, you might be able to tell if they run into you at the library which makes your heart fall to your butt and because you’re already packing up your things, he’ll wait for you which makes you feel both equal parts disney princess and barely human sack with limbs that needs to shit immediately, but still, you accept, as you step barefoot into broken glass slippers when he mentions stopping by the grocery store to get dinner and you go even though YOU DON’T EVEN NEED FOOD because you forget how smart and independent you were to make a big shop low budget hot deal w/ the Sainsbury’s fairy the day before because sometimes YOU LIKE a discounted steak and Titanic combo, but the chance to even say words around this non human sack with limbs but realer than ever human is not something you will turn down so you panic and buy a bag of parsnips and nothing else and play it off as if it isn’t weird to buy a single bag of parsnips two minutes before the shop closes but the time it takes for you to say goodbye makes up for it, until, of course, you realise that you now have parsnips and no room for them in the fridge OR the pantry “sure yeah let those kids in Africa die well done surely it was WORTH it SURELY yeah you’re just SURELY SHIRLEY now aren’t you” you think to yourself, heading towards a park bin, when you suddenly stumble across a religious circle conducting their nightly prayer beneath the glow of a gazebo
“ask her if she’d like to join!” you hear “yeah ask her, ask her” and then “excuse me!”
“oh no sorry i just have to get my parsnips home”
and you think they’re crazy.
when you get home you put the parsnips down and sit at the dining room table as the number of people in your flat start to multiply. your housemate, her boyfriend, your other housemate, her boyfriend.
you ask yourself why it seems as though everything and anything around you is falling in love.
you fiddle with a few drawers until the parsnips barely fit.
you tilt the screen back on your laptop and press a random key because, per usual, you take to the internet. but this doesn’t help.
you ask yourself why it seems as though everything and anything around you is suddenly happier, more successful, and better than ever before.
you realise that’s not what makes you sad. you realise that none of what you thought was hurting you, could ever actually hurt you.
it is only at this time that you know you have not moved on.
so you look towards the fridge, it’s door ajar, and search for some recipes.