4 Tips to Being a Better “People Person” as an Introvert

Joe the Active Introvert
4 min readApr 29, 2023

Are you looking for ways to engage better with others and not get swallowed up in all the chatter? There are many advantages to being an introvert, from increased conscientiousness to enhanced creativity — but when it comes to people-oriented activities and events, it can be exhausting if not intimidating. Introverts needn’t worry, though — with a few strategic actions and my four tips on becoming a better “people person” as an introvert, you will find solace and success within social circles!

1. Prepare to converse

So you’re going to have a conversation, huh? Well, aren’t you quite the social butterfly! But before you jump right in, let’s prep a little, shall we?

Think about what you want to talk about and how you want to approach it. Are you looking to dig deep or keep it light and fluffy? Perhaps a little bit of both? Whatever, your approach, make sure you’re comfortable with the topics and ready to steer the conversation in the direction you want it to go. I like to have 2–3 “back pocket” topics ready that I am comfortable talking about. Especially when someone throws you the “So, tell me a little bit about you.” Not that you have to dominate the conversation, but have a topic or two ready to share if the conversation starts to feel awkward.

2. Listen more than you talk

Hey, that superpower of being quiet and listening to others?… Now’s the time to shine! It’s time to put those listening skills into action. Honestly, rare is the gift of feeling truly heard by another person.

By actively listening, you have the opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of the person you’re speaking with and to truly engage with their thoughts and ideas. This not only fosters a sense of mutual respect and understanding, but it also allows you to discover new insights and perspectives that you may not have otherwise considered.

But being a good listener is more than just remaining silent while the other person speaks. It’s about actively engaging with their ideas, asking thoughtful questions, and showing a genuine interest in their lives and experiences. This not only makes the conversation more enjoyable for both parties but also lays the foundation for a deeper and more meaningful connection.

So next time you find yourself in a conversation, challenge yourself to truly listen and engage with the person in front of you. Honestly, rare is the gift of feeling truly heard by another person.

3. Find your comfort zone

How many times have you been told as an introvert “You need to get out of your comfort zone”? Yeah, I know. A lot.

I’m talking about a different kind of comfort zone (and one you’ll like). Are you more comfortable standing or sitting? How’s your personal space zone feeling? Are you in the middle of the room or off to the side? Are a bunch people around you or are you away from others where it is quieter?

Leverage your environment and spacing to help you better focus on the conversation rather than the distraction that zap your attention and energy.

4. Have a great question ready

Don’t be afraid to fuel the conversation with a great question. Asking questions during a conversation can be an incredibly valuable tool for introverts. Not only does it give you a chance to actively engage with others without feeling like you have to constantly come up with something to say, but it also allows you to learn more about the person you are speaking with.

Asking thoughtful questions shows that you are interested in what the other person has to say, and can help build a rapport and a sense of trust. Additionally, asking questions can help guide the conversation in a direction that feels comfortable and meaningful for both parties, allowing for a deeper and more rewarding exchange. So if you’re an introvert looking to improve your conversational skills, don’t be afraid to ask questions — they may just be the key to unlocking a truly fulfilling conversation.

Call to Action

Being an introvert in a world of extroverts is not the easiest thing in the world. But by using these four tips, it can be made manageable and even enjoyable! I recommend practicing one of these tips each time you’re talking to people in a social setting (e.g., group of friend of friends, conference, concert or sporting event, etc.). With practice and patience, you’ll soon find that you’re able to connect and socialize with ease. So go ahead and show off your inner “people person”!

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Joe the Active Introvert

I help introverts learn and do through stories, tips, and guidance to create a fulfilling life of results that matter and honor our life preferences.