Be Where Your Feet Are.
Since I moved to Dallas to start my internship with the Northern Texas PGA, I have accomplished many of the things that I wanted to. I moved and put myself in a new setting, started a fulfilling job, and dealt with my struggles without the help of my family; a small impediment to my story full of hope and optimism.
This is the best summer I have ever had while also being the most difficult. I really enjoy work, my girlfriend and best friends are all around me, and I get to play golf all the time. The difficult part is being able to fully enjoy those times and soak it all in. Have you ever felt guilty for being happy? That is kind of the territory that anxiety has led me into sometimes. Am I deserving of this feeling?
The answer is: Of course I am.
I have been very fortunate and appreciative of some of the places I have been able to see, people I have gotten to meet and the time with my closest friends this summer.
When you are down, you need someone who will pick you up. Shelby McReynolds has been just that for me. I can confide in her, let my guard down, and be myself at all times. She is one of the biggest reasons that I am able to keep pushing forward and keep having a better outlook on life and my future.
There is really not a whole lot I can put into words. Quite simply, she changed my life and the direction I was headed in. She made me and continues to make me a more caring gentleman every time I am around her, and thankfully, even when we are apart. :)
I have also done some really cool things the last few months.
Like when I went on a private tour to The Star in Frisco. #CowboysNation
…and when my best friend Grant and I played golf with Brice Butler at Trinity Forest Golf Club.
Or maybe how my brother, Tate, was named Valedictorian of Montgomery High School and will be studying Architecture/Engineering at the University of Texas this fall. 🤘🏼
My point in sharing the good is just that: Good is worth sharing. The world needs positivity and optimism because our lives are important, not only for ourselves but for everybody around us. Sometimes I will get into a state of mind that will be focused on tough thoughts. But when I see pictures, notes I have written myself, conversations I have had, the worst part of those tough thoughts never actually happened; looking back, I did not have to focus so much attention on them. I am not trying to say it is easy to control anxiety and circulating thoughts, but it is worth looking back on fond memories and seeing how far you have come. My psychiatrist told me, “You are not in charge of the thoughts that come to you, but you are in charge of the thoughts that stay with you. Instead of judging yourself for having the bad thoughts, become a person that notices thoughts and doesn’t try and keep negotiating with them. The more you fight them, the longer they will stay with you.”
The Mack that I thought was missing was always here.
I started to see a pattern in my thoughts and when I sought out a psychriatrist here in Dallas who helped me refocus them, he was able to put a positive perspective on the negatives I feel. He mentioned that, “Anxiety is most fertile in the future, if you stay in the future, your anxiety knows no boundaries. If you stay in the present however, your options and choices are limited. There is not anything to worry about if you stay right where you are.” Another tip he told me to practice was, “Think of your thoughts like leaves running down a stream. In your head, pick up a leaf and examine it, don’t let it go. Much like that leaf, that is what you are doing with those bad thoughts. Start to accept the thoughts, examine them, and then let them go down the stream.” I am still learning the best ways to do these practices, even implementing some meditation and mindfulness tricks from Buddhist scholars. I really like that part of Buddhism, the feeling of Zen and a path to Enlightenment. However, that path is not achieved without suffering, a key term in their teaching.
But Mack, he never left. It has just taken some “cob-web” cleaning to get my focus straightened out again. When I am in the car, I still sing as loud as I can; in the morning I try and dress like a GQ model; on the golf course, I thoroughly enjoy hitting 350 yard drives and fist pumping when I make putts (bombs). On a real level, I am absolutely enamored with my family. I will never take for granted how great they are and the time I get to spend with them. The laughs, comfort, and love I feel with my family and closest friends is probably the best thing about my life.
Be where your feet are. Stay in the present. Enjoy life’s greatest moments. Don’t just be alive, LIVE. Do what makes you happy and be where you want to be. There is no time better than now to do just that.
Thanks for reading. :)