Fighting Bobby: the diagnosis
Today I found out I have a brain tumour. A grade 4 glioblastoma, now known as Bobby.
It’s been quite the couple of weeks. I started having weird tingles down my right hand side. It was a bit odd, but thought it could be anything from a vitamin deficiency, side-effect from my pill or even all in my head. The first ‘urgent’ neurology appointment was in 3 months time. But then I was lucky enough to see a GP who thought the symptoms were unusual and referred me on an urgent 2-week wait ‘central nervous system cancer referral.’ He told me it was just so I didn’t get lost in the system…
I was at the GP on the Tuesday and by the Friday I was sitting in the neurology clinic. The Consultant wasn’t concerned by my symptoms, but said that it was worth doing a scan. I was due to go to Sweden that weekend and so he quickly clarified that I could fly, and said he’d call me if anything ‘horrific’ came up on the scan. An hour later, I was having lunch with my mum when I got a call asking if I could pop back into the hospital… fast forward a couple of weeks, and I’ve had various scans, a biopsy and finally a diagnosis.
Here are a few light hearted musings from early stages of a cancer diagnosis:
- Naming everything makes it (more) friendly: When I first got the tingles, my friend named them the ‘Wibbly Wobbles.’ Much more friendly than ‘sensory seizures,’ which is what I now know them to be. So, a natural progression when a tumour was in the picture was “Bobby and the Wibbly Wobbles” — sounds like some kind of whacky ’90s pop band.
2. ‘The ambush’: there is no good way to tell your friends that you have a brain tumour. Although hiding behind a post box outside their house while they return from their late night corporate law job probably isn’t the best…
3. Everyone becomes an oncologist: a few hours of googling is all it takes, right?
4. “It is what is it is”: This was my catch phrase for the tumour, until I found out it was also the most popular saying on this year’s Love Island…
5. Letting me off the hook: At the very least, I’ve now had brain surgery which feels like a good excuse for my most annoying traits (like being late, messy or forgetful)
Jokes aside, it goes without saying that there’s something quite daunting about finding out you have a brain tumour. Your brain is where you think, reason, feel, remember. The thought that something isn’t right is unsettling. Mind over matter presumes control, and one thing you don’t have with cancer is control.
But you’ve just got to throw everything at it — and that’s what I’m going to do. I’m so grateful to be surrounded by brilliant family, friends and colleagues.
Bobby — you’re going down.
I am proud to be working with Brain Tumour Research to raise awareness of the disease and the issues faced by patients and their families.
