Queerness
Alex Massey
61

Thank you for sharing this — there is so much in your story that resonates …but also makes me sad, because I am (guessing, based on your mention of Harry Potter) 10–15 years older than you, and I always hoped my parents’ attitudes were products of their time, and hasn’t time moved on…but I’m afraid that things are not changing fast enough…

“They wonder why we do not talk often.”: I read your piece on Mothers’ Day, another day when I couldn’t bring myself to speak with my mother (the one who named me a dyke when I cut my hair in my teens; a whore when I started dating boys — I was very confused about her expectations for me!). I wish I could be as generous or forgiving as you. I feel like my parents’ slurs were completely deliberate — they were both too smart to not appreciate that their language was cruel and hurtful. They consciously chose their prejudices/their religious beliefs over their child. They say they ‘pray for me’, even though they know how much that offends. I sometimes idly wonder what they are praying for…but not enough to care to ask.

I wish you much love in the arms of your new family. And thank you, again, for sharing.

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