Follow along here for a sec: imagine you have a friend Ted, and he’s procured an excellent track record at being a complete dick. Like white on rice or a fat kid staring at dessert, he’s lightning quick showing you what an asshole he is. Ted routinely acts out like a two year old in the grocery store checkout line, with temper tantrums and flare ups aimed at making your life miserable.
The only positive thing about Ted? He’s consistent, and so you know the Hot Mess Express is coming full force. Ted sounds like someone you’d hate to have in your corner, for about 1,234 reasons. You’d never want to be friends with someone who treats you like shit and acts like a little kid. Yet Ted is the human equivalent of your ego. He’s a shitty excuse for a human that acts out, just like your ego. No one wants to be friends with an unpredictable asshole. But your ego has enjoyed being at your side for the last 20+ years. It’s time to slap some sanity into your routine and tell Ted you’re sick and tired of his bullshit. It’s time to get rid of your ego.
Let’s be clear on one thing: getting rid of your ego isn’t easy. Think of it this way: if you’re in a relationship and you decide to break things off, your honest intention is to walk away for good. But jokes on you: that’s really, really hard. At some point, after probably the 134th call and 456th text, you give in. You let them back in. There goes the “don’t ever talk to me again” line you spewed a week prior.
So just like crappy yo-yo relationships, even if you decide to walk away from your ego, it’ll come back. And the worst part is you’ll let it. Then you’ll hopefully realize you fucked up, and walk away again. Rinse, repeat. Smells familiar; you’ve been there. But as much as this sounds depressing, there’s a silver lining: at least you kinda smartened up and walked away, right? You’re trying really hard (hopefully) to break ties. Progress is progress. It ain’t all flowers and sunshine.
So by now, you’ve realized you no longer want to deal with your ego’s inevitable meltdowns, immaturity, anger, and persuasive bullshit. Great, step one is done. What’s step two? Well, finding ways to get rid of it.
We all share something in common: we think we’re right. Confirmation bias plagues the best of us. When you think you know what you’re talking about, you’ll find any avenue to side with something that helps your thought process, even if it means it came from the mouth of your weed dealer Johnny. This is confirmation bias at its core.
We have a hard time delineating between opinions and facts because of our embarrassingly inaccurate assumption we’re always right. And this is exactly why people push their opinions on you 24/7. Since they apparently know what they’re talking about, you need to understand why. Someone would rather spend 15 minutes trying to make you understand their viewpoint than spend 30 seconds listening to an opposing one.
See, the ego loves being right. When you actually are right, it’s unstoppable. It relishes in the spotlight. Bring the grapes and start fanning, because nothing strokes your ego more than winning an argument. But what if you’ve been arguing about an opinion instead of a fact? It doesn’t matter. Your ego will latch on like a degenerate vampire.
It’s a dangerous cycle. All it takes is fooling your ego into thinking you’ve won an argument or two to have it thinking it’s the shit. Like a kid emboldened by stealing a chocolate chip cookie from the jar, it’ll try again. Why not, right? It was a success the first couple times.
So if you want to get rid of your ego, stop trying to win an argument simply for the sake of winning an argument. You hate the idea of being in the wrong, so when you find yourself on the ropes, your ego will try to lash out. Think passive aggressive comments and unfiltered hate for the other person.
Learn to walk away from an argument you know neither side can win.
Make and Admit Mistakes
You’ve heard by now that your ego enjoys being right, and usually gets its satisfaction through arguing. But there’s another way to help get rid of your ego: just get out there and fuck up.
Nothing will make your ego tuck its tail quicker than making mistakes. They could’ve been mistakes you either should have avoided or had no way to foresee. They could be things you said that you know you shouldn’t have, or they could be your laziness or inaction. The latter lets regret and frustration creep in.
Remember, the ego thinks it’s the shit — so when it screws up, it has no choice but to reevaluate its own crap.
But one part remains vitally important to helping get rid of your ego: you need to learn how to admit to your mistakes. It’s one thing to fuck something up and admit it; it’s another to fuck something up and not want any part of the blame for things going south. The latter is what’s affectionally known as victim mentality. It’s terrible. Don’t be one of those people. Playing the blame game won’t get you anywhere. If you find yourself blaming everything and everyone around you for all your shortcomings, you’ve got an ego problem.
Understand People Are Going Through Some Shit
Your life has its fair share of problems. Every single person’s life is full of them, too. And we’re suffering as a result. Thinking you can avoid the lows of life and the storm it throws your way constantly is wishful thinking.
Your ego has you believe that life sucks and everyone around you is magically having the time of their lives. Just log into Instagram to see the latest demonstration of people completely steamrolling on your miserable existence. Except it’s not like that at all. What is it like, then? Well, you aren’t the only miserable one. Everyone’s in over their head with it.
But Instagram has you fooled, and you yell at John and Kim because their feed shows what you perceive true love is all about. Wrong. In reality, no one knows what the hell they’re doing and as a result, have a lot of instability and general uneasiness about life. Everyone, including you, has multiple problems they’re dealing with. Realize it, and treat everyone just a little nicer next time. As much as your ego loves to flex and show superiority on everyone else, don’t let it.
Listen To Other People
Because your ego loves to be right, it doesn’t want to hear what other people have to say. Because what better way to prove you’re correct than only listening to your own opinions?
You: Hey, I’m right and here’s why.
Them: Well, I th-
You: I’m so good looking. Anyways, I’m right and here’s why.
Them: Well, I was sayi-
You: Nope, nope, nope. Let me tell you what I think.
One-sided conversations, because… ego.
It’s when you listen to other people that you enable differing opinions and thoughts to give you new perspective. There’s nothing worse than being stuck in your repetitive thought process because you don’t know any differently. Part of the beauty of this world is the fact we don’t share the same views, the same outlook, and the same thoughts. You don’t have to agree to someone else’s point of view just by listening. You listen, and then decide.
Listening to others helps get rid of your ego, who thinks it’s their way or the highway.
Remember, the ego is your enemy.
Hey there! Thanks for reading. This was originally published at https://mondayviews.com