Five Rules for 2018 — Revisited
2018 was year three of my “rules for the year” posts, and while I’m a bit behind on my recap, it seems like it’s still worth revisiting. My motivation isn’t particularly high to do so, which makes me suspect it’s an important task, if not an overly enjoyable one at this point. I do these as a bit of a personal journal of self-reflection, but hopefully doing so publicly gives you some of your own insights (or at least an insight or two about me).
#1 — Own the Title “Dad”
AKA figure out what being a father means to me.
Self-Assessment Grade: ?
I don’t know how to grade this one. Going into 2018, I said going with the flow and being in the moment while experiencing life with a newborn was one of the things I hoped to achieve. I think that happened, but sometimes it’s hard to remember. I didn’t even have it bad when it comes to sleep deprivation, but there must be some hormonal shift or something that erodes the short-term memory of new parents to blunt the sting of the most challenging moments. Life was so non-stop busy that the ability to enjoy the moment was too often pushed aside by the next thing to check off the list, and my brain was too full to create space and reflect. There are no more days off to reset — I have to think about avoiding new types of burnout, and I’m doing a mediocre job at finding that balance.
Meadow is wonderful. This year has been incredibly memorable, even if some of those memories are a bit fuzzier than I’d like. Good thing it’s 2018 and digital storage space for photos and videos is plentiful. As far as figuring out what being a father means to me now? I didn’t suddenly morph into a new person when taking on the “Dad” title (not that I expected to), and at this point I don’t think I’ll have my definition fully rounded out for at least another decade. But whatever it is, when I’m immersed in it, I find it fulfilling — however I hope this whole process of feeling like my brain is routinely clouded over is a normal step on the way to growth as a parent, and not a nutritional imbalance or minor lingering depression (next step: work to rule those out).
#2 — Prioritize Knowledge Over Information
AKA be more intentional about the media I consume.
Self-Assessment Grade: D
Part of the idea here was reading more books than 2017. The bar was low, and I still failed to hop over it. The good news is that for some reason January 2019 hit and I knocked out three books in a month (and it wasn’t even a conscious resolution to do so).
The bigger picture for this goal was less about the specific medium, and more about the quality of information I consumed. This still needs further curation in 2019, though I made some strides in 2018 (almost no Facebook, better tailoring of Instagram, and tossing out most of the self-aggrandizing blogs I used to read that didn’t actually teach me much of anything).
I stayed plugged into politics this year, which wasn’t necessarily healthy, but hopefully in the long run it’s helpful. I’m informed enough to be angry, and I plan to stay that way as long as it doesn’t erode my mental health to a significant degree.
#3 — Build Career Stability
AKA cultivate a workplace experience that feels like home.
Self-Assessment Grade: B+
Starting 2018, I was still relatively new at 10up and just beginning to settle in as one of the Directors of Client Delivery. A year later, I’m really happy there! The work is interesting, the problems to solve are the right sort of challenging, and the team is competent and motivated. Not to mention 10up has grown with a sort of stability that can be hard to find in the agency world. Full-time remote work has also mostly been a positive (particularly with the logistics of a newborn), though I do miss the built-in exercise of a bike commute.
#4 — Continue Adventuring
AKA be intentional about making adventures happen, even if my definition of “adventure” changes a bit.
Self-Assessment Grade: A- /D
Back at the beginning of 2018, I identified that I hoped to continue spending time out in nature, exploring new places, and having fresh experiences in our first year with a newborn. Objectively, we did well! Several trips to Redmond, a journey to the Oregon coast, travel to Jackson Hole for work, summer camping (and even a short backpacking trip with infant in tow), a quick jaunt to Phoenix, and a week exploring Kauai. But here’s the frustrating part — too many times, the adventuring wasn’t rewarding as it had been in the past (for a variety of reasons that are tough to sum up in less than essay length). So while I’d objectively grade 2018 well here, I didn’t find the satisfaction that I’d hoped to in achieving this goal.
#5 — Run Fast, Stay Healthy
AKA Keep fitness and having a competitive outlet as a priority.
Self-Assessment Grade: C
In 2018 I ran pretty damn fast. I also fell apart. Sooooo…
After placing 4th in the slightly insane 25K Hagg Lake Mud Run in February, I set my sights on a 10K PR early in June. I did lots of long track intervals, working my way towards a full 10K distance at race pace — and I was getting close when the foot and hip pain started. I backed off from there and limped through a relatively successful Cascade Lakes Relay and Hood to Coast mid-summer before taking a break all together. Five months later (Thanks Vince at North Lake PT!), I’m finally almost back to running the baseline weekly distance that I’d like to be at. Meanwhile, I’m still trying to work out why my body feels so stiff and achy all the time. Is it normal aging, or is there something else to fix?
So that’s it for 2018. Plenty of dissonance between some of life’s best moments and numerous lows that I’m still trying to reconcile.
