Is it Wrong to Seek Casual Encounters Online?
No. There’s absoloutely nothing wrong with signing up to an online dating site for a casual encounter. We all have urges and providing you’re honest about your intentions and don’t lead people on, you’ve got absolutely nothing to feel ashamed about. In fact, it’s commendable.
If you’re planning on giving it a try, these tips will help.
Rationalize Your Encounter
There’s a reason why people don’t say “Hey, why don’t you come over for sex?” when they’re arranging a date (of course, there are exceptions). Everyone knows that “can I come upstairs for coffee,” or “I’m coming over to do my laundry” are code-phrases for “let’s hook up.” If you feel cheap or dirty saying it as it is (although there’s no reason why you should), don’t be afraid to give yourself an alibi. Convincing yourself that you have “innocent” intentions will help you rationalize the encounter.
Respect Your Boundaries
Steer clear of hooking up with anybody until you know exactly where your boundaries are. Will you feel guilty about meeting somebody on Tinder and having sex on the first encounter? Will you still respect yourself in the morning? Listen to yourself. No casual encounter is worth your dignity if you feel like it will be lost.
Set Your Standards
This isn’t supposed to sound shallow, but you shouldn’t feel like you have to lower your standards just because you want sex— remember what your intentions are. You should at least be attracted to your date. Providing there’s transparency and honesty it’s okay.
Yes I know, it’s cheesy as hell. It’s difficult to “be yourself”, especially when you’re putting yourself in an unknown/difficult situation, but at least give it your best shot. It’s not fair to pretend to be somebody else, even if you and your date are just seeking a one-off, no strings attached hookup.
Be Honest About Your Feelings
If you meet up with somebody for a casual encounter and feel like it could become something more, don’t be afraid to ask for their number or arrange another date, just try not to get your hopes up. It’s one thing to lead somebody else on and another to lead yourself on. If your date is only interested in hooking up, accept their decision rather than trying to change their ways. That’s not a healthy way to start a relationship.
Avoid Close Friends!
There’s nothing wrong with having friends with benefits. In fact, sometimes it seems easier to just ask somebody you already know if they’re up for some fun, but avoid this situation unless you’re absolutely sure that they are on the same page as you. In addition, it’s probably a good idea to consider the future. Do you think he/she could get a bit weird in your presence when/if they get into a relationship? If so, don’t take the risk.
Lastly, make sure you fully understand your own intentions and are happy to act on your urges. You should never walk around feeling guilty or obsessing about the morality of what you’ve done.