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Adan Kovinich

I never felt like I had the right to call it “rape,” because I never said stop

Photo by Emiliano Vittoriosi on Unsplash

*Trigger Warning: this article contains descriptions of sexual assault that may not be suitable for all readers. Fearless community, please read with care.*

I have tried to write the true story of my rape for years. I never dared to tell anyone about the reckoning of my adolescence openly. I have never dared to admit I was raped openly. It has taken me until this very moment to call it what it was — rape. I never thought I had that right. Why? I gave consent.

I never told my rapist to stop. He didn’t pull me into a bush…


Creative

Tito’s personal diary — Volume 1

Photo of Tito Taken by Author

Dear Doggie Diary,

I’m certain my humans have lost their jobs for two reasons.

  1. My mom is home all the time; it’s a bit annoying because she’s always trying to pet me and play with me — I’m used to being home alone listening to the sweet sounds of Beethoven.
  2. My dad hasn’t left — since March — on a big strange machine that flys like a bird I've been trying to catch.

Doggie Diary, the thing that confuses me most is the Furbo isn’t working anymore, and my mom gives me cookies from her office.

Did someone say cookies?


I was 16 the first time a man 20 years my senior told me he loved me.

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

I hope you die peacefully, in your sleep, just kidding. I hope it hurt like you hurt me. I hope when you think of me, you can’t breathe. — The Chicks

I was 16 the first time he told me he loved me. A man, 20 years my senior, looked me in the eyes and said, “I love you, Adan.” The hopeless romantic in me that read far too many Danielle Steele novels believed it.

Do you remember your first love? That puppy dog feeling, the obsession and IMing each other as often as possible. Maybe you had sex with…


“My dad’s an alcoholic. But he’s functioning, so it doesn’t matter. He has a job; he isn’t homeless or anything.”

Image by Michal Jarmoluk from Pixabay

Disclaimer:
I am not a doctor, therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. This list is from personal experience as an Adult Child of an Alcoholic with references to www.adultchildren.org

Sitting in therapy, silently starring at my therapist, she asked the question I never wanted to hear come from her mouth or anyone else’s for that matter.

“Was one of your parents an alcoholic?”

Ouch. I swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and then had an immediate flashback.

I am 4 sitting on a swing — my dad is pushing me — we are having fun. Then he says:

“I’ll be back; I…


Businesses are scrambling to be online—and it’s not always working.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Covid-19 will close your favorite coffee shop, the Ma and Pa corner store, and all of your hometown family restaurants unless they start to market their business online and create a “Pandemic Friendly” company.

Thousands of businesses are only three bad months away from closing. The uncomfortable financial situation was before Covid-19 temporarily closed many companies. Brick and Mortar stores are never ready financially to shut their doors during a pandemic — there is no manual on business and pandemics. Now we are watching companies close permanently or scramble to build a digital interface.

The problem with this is that…


She woke up one morning and looked at her husband and said: “We need to talk.”

Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash

On a sunny morning in the late summer of 2013, my sister — Nada — kissed her husband goodbye as he got onto a party bus to the airport. His next stop — Las Vegas, Nevada.

My sister spent her week working as a realtor during the busiest time of year. Her husband was drinking and partying — giving his best friend a farewell to a bachelor’s life.

On the second day of her husband’s trip, he called Nada in the morning. The clock had read 9:08 am. She performed quick math and realized it was 7 am in Las…


How to stand up for yourself and set boundaries.

Photo: Icons8 Team/Unsplash

How do you identify a superior that takes advantage of you? How do you handle the situations and put an end to the toxic environment? How do you know if this is the circumstance that surrounds you?

Often in your workplace, your superior doesn’t always realize they are taking advantage of you. Maybe you are a top performer, or they know you do well when you’re busy. Perhaps they have worked with you for a long time and have become accustomed to you saying yes to every project.

Although you may be okay with helping your boss occasionally, it may…


Working during COVID-19 made me quit my job.

Photo by Mike Petrucci on Unsplash

The date is March 17th, 2020. Ontario, Canada has just declared a state of emergency due to the COVID-19 Pandemic.

At the beginning of the pandemic, I worked in a retail street front location — selling cell phones — for one of the largest telecommunication companies in Canada.

As I stared at my cellphone, waiting for the announcement for essential stores to be listed, I turned to my co-worker who was just as panicked as me.

“You know, they won’t shut us down. People need to be able to buy a cell phone during a pandemic.”

He laughed, and I…


The many negative ways it affected my family, my childhood, my mother, and my father.

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

My entire life, my dad had a beer in his hand. He’s tried to quit drinking since before my presence reached earth. He first started drinking because his father was an alcoholic. He grew up in a small Canadian town with parents that had immigrated from Soviet Yugoslavia. His parents owned a local watering hole strip club and hotel. He spent his childhood tending bar and socializing with the local town drunks.

I will always remember the many trips to the beer store to refill the garage fridge with his favorite afternoon snack — Labbats Blue Light. The many nights…


HUMOR

Are you okay, are you new, what is going on?

Photo by Guillermo Latorre on Unsplash

Dear One Clappers,

I am wondering when you see a performance, do you only clap once, seriously is that a thing you do.

A bit weird, but I digress.

For some reason, when you give me one clap, my heart sinks. I base my self worth on claps. When 15 of you give me one clap, I seriously think that you hated my piece, but you read it and feel like giving me a clap, which I mean is fine if that’s what you’re doing.

If you weren’t aware, you could click the clap button 50 times. Which is a…

Adan Kovinich

I am an anxious 20-something-year old writing about all things sales, finance, love, sex, and mental illness. www.morementalhealthdays.com

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