UXer empathizing with herself

Your anxiety is lying to you.

A wild UXer in her natural habitat.

If you feel:

• Super exhausted;
• You haven’t slept as much as you should;
• You can’t focus properly;
• That you need to endure because you love what you do/you have a deadline.

This may be for you.

WARNING: I’m sharing my own experience and what worked for me. Perhaps for you, it’s different. Perhaps you need medical assistance. Just make this the big deal it actually is.

A little background…

I decided to change my life and went from Digital Marketing to UX/UI Design. No background what so ever. So I started the first UX/UI Design Ironhack 9 week Bootcamp in Lisbon.

“Can do” attitude

I’m a fast learner and with no degree, I was able to learn by myself (and with the help of my amazing team) content strategy creation, definition, supervision, and optimization to generate qualified leads.

Part of my previous AMAZING team which I love very much.

Since I was able to work for 5 and a half years with such good professionals, I thought “This has been a big challenge. Let’s face the next one in the same way.” Well… I really thought that until the end of my second Bootcamp week.

Push it to the limit

My first motto.

If others can do it, I can do it! So I was getting earlier to the classroom, having only slept in between 3–5 hours every night and working nonstop. My projects were basically my life.

I had constantly that voice in my head telling me that I had to do it no matter what cost.

The warning came when everyone but I started noticing that I was tired. “Are you ok?”, “Have you rested?”; “Are you drunk? What happened to your voice?” were things I heard from my colleagues and friends every week. I didn’t care much for it. I had to endure this path no matter what.

I cried almost every day out of exhaustion but I was so thrilled because for the first time I found my true passion that I endured this “zombie with feelings” mode.

The breaking point

One of my colleagues warned me that she burned out on the 3rd week. “Be careful Ângela”. Wise words.

My actual expression. All the damn time.

I didn’t burn out but because I acted on it.

It was on a Tuesday. Suddenly I felt that I broke. I’m usually a fast-thinker but I couldn’t think anymore. I’m usually super energetic but that ship had sailed. I’m usually super focused. I couldn’t stand being in the classroom. And then I understood I just needed to SHUT UP.

Empathizing with myself

I felt so lost because I wasn’t talking with anyone and I saw everyone so focused that I thought: “I must be the only one that needs to handle stress better”. Always remember:

No matter what, you’re never the only one. Share.

For all you UXers out there, you know that you should diverge and converse in order to emphasize with your user. I tried to do that with myself. For me to give my best to my users, I should give my best for myself first.

Research

I didn’t have much time to do my research but here are my users:

• The ones that went through the same experience;
• The ones that know me well.

After all their insights, these were the ones I followed and I leave these tips for you.

You need to shut down

True.

I don’t even mean sleep. I know that different people have different needs. I mean that you shouldn’t make off your project your entire life and actually have an escape route. Find your limit but don’t cross it.

We want you to work hard but we also want you to have fun.

This was something that Alvaro said to me and had an impact. I was working nonstop and forgot to enjoy the ride.

I found that I was super productive when I started the following.

Tips:

• Having a specific time to leave my classroom and go home;
• Giving myself an actual 1h break at lunchtime;
• Forced myself to watch an episode (at least) of a series that I liked after Bootcamp. I love series and if it forces me to think of something different. Do something you love: sports, playing music, dancing naked around the house. I don’t care. Just do something;
• Enjoy my weekend taking walks around Lisbon and hanging out with my friends, not thinking about the project.

You need to shut up

Ok, ok, I get it.

Don’t judge yourself so much.

I’m very detail-oriented and I struggle with my creative process on UI. I have some colleagues that have a design background. What the hell was I thinking when I thought I could what they can now? So I kept judging my work and comparing myself with them.

Shame, shame, shame — Unella, Game of Thrones

Tips:

• You’ll never appreciate completely your work by the end of it. And that’s good. It means you’ve grown during the process and you want to improve. Instead, appreciate your effort, ask for constructive feedback and do better next time;
• Following on that, saying “I suck” is different than “I can do better next time”;
• Trust in yourself. Confidence is something that grows over time but you need to work on it;
• Compete with yourself, not with others;
• Find a way to manage your time and try to understand if you’re doing it in the best way with someone with more experience. I started to use Trello to manage different tasks;

You need to speak up

People actually needed to do this with me.

Once people forced me to talk about what I was feeling, I felt lighter and realized what I could improve if I tried to change how I perceive mistakes and how I manage my time.

Tips:

• Talk with someone you feel comfortable with or with someone that you feel is going/has gone through the same. You’ll find how amazing it could be for you. Believe me: people actually are able to help and listen to what you have to say;
• If you’re doubting your work, ask your team how they’re perceiving it and how you could improve it. You may be surprised.

And last but not least…

I’ll make a tattoo out of this.

My new mantra, guys!

I realized that everyone’s process is different. The feedback was good and I had no idea. I kept in mind that I was giving 100% every day. If I tried 120%, I would only be able to give 80% or less on the next day.

Yeah, trust the process is my biggest tip for you (and my motto).

Final thoughts

I don’t want your pity. I want you to understand that if you’re going through something like this, is possible to change if you really want to take care of yourself. If not, think about your projects and how much more productive you can be if you just take the time to empathize with yourself.

Part of my Ironhack family ❤

I want to thank you

I couldn’t change so much in such a short period of time without my Ironhack team, family and friend’s help. I want to thank:

• My mother for doing what she does best: support me;
• My colleagues for always checking up on me;
• My TL and TA’s for caring so much about us and our wellbeing (especially to Lucia who “forced” me to watch series every night);
• My friends sending support messages every day.

I love you all. ❤

Credits:

• Image: fournoreason.tumblr.com @ Pinterest
• Gifs @ Giphy