Your Greatest Strength Is Not Fitting In.
Being an outcast only hurts if you let it define you.
Don’t listen to those internal and external voices telling you who you are and what you should think. Just focus on your gift, which is your uniqueness.
My childhood and teenage years are not years I fancy remembering much. Don’t get me wrong, I was lucky to be part of a loving family with mum, dad, a big brother and even a dog in the picture. I had a nice home, nice clothes, enough to eat and went on holiday trips each year.
However, outside of my home life, things were just a nightmare. I was an emotional wreck because I was being bullied by the other kids and by some adults too. This led me to not perform academically as well as I could have and I lived with this identity until I was 23 years old.
I could write pages about it, but that’s not the point of this article. I’m now almost in my mid forties and I want to share all the good stuff that’s come out of it! What all the hardships have taught me and allowed me to become in spite of these difficult years.
Feeling awkward and inadequate around people, inevitably leads to spending a fair amount of time by yourself. When you’re a child, craving to fit in, but having close to no friends is tough. The one positive side in this is that you actually learn to be by yourself most of the time and how to make it ok (which counts as a skill nowadays!!). Don’t get me wrong, it can be hard, but sometimes it still feels easier than being with the other people and feel invisible anyway.
When you’re alone, at home, you create your own world. You can be whoever you want to be and achieve anything. When you’re at home by yourself, you read more, you can journal, you can practise playing an instrument and indulge in different hobbies, in depth. I can promise you that it will all pay off sooner or later.
Find what makes you vibe and focus hard on it. This life hack will help you take your mind off the heartache that may consume you otherwise. Practise the type of self-care that will nourish your soul and help you shift your mindset.
Not being able to fully trust or rely on people as a child turned me into someone who’s learned to do a lot of things by herself. I didn’t want to at first, but I didn’t really have a choice. I started with very simple things and seeing that I could do them, I just kept on going and GROWING.
I left home in September 2002 and never really looked back.
- I left home in France to go and live in London for a year.
- I ended up staying abroad and it’s now been 20 years
- I moved to Italy in October 2013 and started everything from scratch, on my own (stayed for about two years).
- I travel and do plenty of activities by myself if none of my friends can join me.
- At work, I’m happy being part of a team, but I can also be on my own which works just as well for me. If people like me and the way I work, I let them in and I know it’s genuine. If they don’t like me or don’t adhere to my values, I’m not fazed, I just keep going in my own lane.
I now have the strength of character to keep going forward whatever happens. I know there are ups and downs and I just ride my own wave.
It’s about quality, not quantity.
The friends I have are REAL friends. Not people I have in my life because I’m scared of being alone. These are people who appreciate me for who I am and I know I can count on them. Having the right people around you is absolutely priceless and once you find them, treat them well too.
The gift of brain plasticity is real — Make good use of it.
The one thing they don’t teach you at school that I want you to know is that, NOTHING is set in stone. Your knowledge, your relationships, the skills you can and will possess… It is ALL up to you and what you want to accomplish.
Whatever you thought you were not good at as a child CAN change if you put your mind to it. You can learn, you can evolve and you can most definitely out perform yourself constantly. The you today is different from the you yesterday.
Now, your job is to decide what you want to make of the next 24 hours, so you are even prouder of the you of tomorrow.
Thanks for reading!
Addie
