‘SEX TRUTHS-SEX LIES’ CHRONICLES
CAUTION: Take it ONE STEP at A TIME…
#1. Hmmmmm Sex is good, trust me I know. It is God’s idea and not yours however, it is good ONLY in Marriage. It is an ABUSE outside Marriage. This is not just a fact because I say so, it is the truth because God says so… Remember, every truth is for your liberation while every lie is for your deception. Every of God’s rule or instruction is for your safety yet we will always have to pay the price for our stupidity where we default. Wise people embrace the truth, only fools deny it. Please choose to be wise today.
#2. Like…SERIOUSLY? You think you know all about Sex right? Yet you don’t know that it is beyond the physical? It is in fact MORE SPIRITUAL, psychological and mental…thus, it has spiritual, psychological and mental effect or concequence(s) depending on the context- Let’s get to the point: There are Sexually Transmitted Diseases as well as Sexually Transmitted Curses OR should I say “Sexually inherited curse(s)“. You may be carrying a load that was not meant for you by birth/design- but you made a choice. Safe and best to stay clear!
#3. A common lie: ‘Everyone does premarital sex’. The Truth: If you are a “V”, more people envy than despise you! They just lack the guts to tell you. You must be the fool of the century to think virginity is officially ‘a thing of the past’. It’ll interest you to know that I personally know a couple of ‘hot and mature’ virgins, male and female alike. That’s the HOOK: To make you feel so bad and lonely that you despise that precious divine and irreplaceable gift! Pre-Marital sex may be a common thing but TRUST ME, it’s not as general as you think. Dare to be different.
#4. Have you ever wondered why you don’t have your SEX ORGAN in your palm, your forehead…or on your chest…in fact, you don’t have it just ANYWHERE! Imagine how wired it’ll be if you had it doubled as a sight organ…lol. My point is simple: “Your Sex Organ is strategically positioned by God to be a “Private Part” and not a “Public Property“! If you think that’s not good enough then, you may as well ‘put it in your wallet’. So long as it’s clear that IT is YOUR PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY to keep it safe. Do you copy?
#5. Who said that VIRGINITY is a ‘Feminine Entity’? Who says the guys can misbehave while the ladies are to be chaste? God is no respecter of persons! Guys! You may not have dropped some blood but God knew it the very moment the first drop of sperm was debited to your account…He knew the moment you lost it though no one could tell the difference. Guys, you may not have the hymen but PLEASE Know who the judge is- GOD not man! Guys! You have the responsibility to PROTECT and not DEFILE every lady God brings your way!
#6. The Lie: ‘SEX promotes/improves LOVE’. Both married and single will need to understand that LOVE&SEX are two different things. You are permitted to love EVERYONE including your enemies but not permitted to ‘sleep’ with everyone or just anyone. Due to the design of Sex by God, it is meant to help the bonding process between couples and not to make love ‘happen’. Outside marriage, it works even differently since it was NOT to be permitted by divine design.
#7. Sex is NOT LOVE, Love is NOT SEX, Sex in Marriage may promote love, Sex outside Marriage mostly breeds lust…You may be on the losing end. Ladies and Lords, never profess sex in the name of love. IT’S WRONG! The LIE: If you really love me, you will give IT to me! The TRUTH: ‘Love endures long and is PATIENT and kind …; it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act UNBECOMINGLY. Love … does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not SELF-SEEKING; …’ 1Corinthians 13:4–5 AMP One of the greatest and the most authentic test of love before marriage is to WAIT and simply ABSTAIN rather than rush, get ‘stained’ and eventually have yourself to blame. The point is simple- Please WAIT while your ‘transaction’ is processing!
#8. FACT: “It’s MY BODY and I am old and mature enough to choose or decide what I do with it”! Are you aware that facts ain’t always the whole truth? Half-truth is No Truth at all if you ask me. The TRUTH: It’s indeed your body but it is HIS TEMPLE! Now, you imagine for a minute how president Obama or the queen of England keeps their prestigious residence(s). God Almighty made YOU and chose YOU in spite of YOUR INADEQUACIES for a place of abode, do YOU think Him asking YOU to wait till marriage is asking for TOO MUCH? Pre-Marital sex is a sin against God and against YOUR BODY which is His Temple. Let’s hear it from the ‘horse’s mouth: ”Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s”. ( 1 Corinthians 6:18–20. KJV)
#9. A FACT: SEX is real fun! An additional fact is that we all are myopic in the heat of the moment. All we see is the expected and calculated enjoyment …OMG! What we never realize then is that it is not just about enjoyment, it’s majorly a case of defilement. Hmmmm then with time we get to pay a heavy price… When the heat is far gone n the chips are down. THINK… must this be your story? Do the RIGHT THING, damn pre-marital sex, patiently and HONOURABLY look forward to a lifelong period of post-marital peace and bliss. You still have a chance to make that happen if ONLY YOU DESIST from making things get really complicated. Just hold it right there and STOP IT!
#10. THE LIE: Its fine if we do ANY&EVERY-other-THING EXCEPT ‘Actual Penetration’. You know what? God didn’t create the kissing… Caressing… Fondling… Sucking…as separate entities… They are all ‘sexual things’. THE TRUTH: Fornication does not begin with Sex, it ends with it. — “Every other thing” asides sex is simply a part of Sex, it is a TOTAL PACKAGE! Remember, I am not the judge but GOD IS! Be warned, please heed.
#11. Everyone that has had pre-marital Sex felt bad and really guilty the very first time it happened and the reason is simple — IT WAS ALL WRONG! If you no longer feel bad or guilty about doing wrong things then, SOMETHING IS WRONG- Your conscience has gone dead due to constant neglect/disobedience. The things that once scared you… the very same thing(s) that used to be A BIG DEAL has/have now become ONE OF THOSE THINGS… You need help before you become a REPROBATE. (Romans 1:28; Titus 1:16) Think…
#12. “What makes any relationship romantic is INTERVIEW and not INTERCOURSE. COMMUNICATION and not “Cunnilingus“. Pre-marital sex may make yours erroneously erotic for nothing… It is however never a good foundation to build a worthwhile relationship on… Trust me, you have no idea how much a sincere discussion can do… Look beyond the ‘touching’ for a while and TALK…stop putting the cart before the horse…doing that will only take you nowhere good but in the opposite direction from anything good. Think…
#13. Pre-marital Sex may be sweet to you but it makes NO SENSE to God. There is a way that seems right to a man and appears straight before him, but at the end of it is the way of death. (Proverbs 16:25. AMP) For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8–9) Now tell me: Who is the judge, YOU or GOD? See things from God’s perspective and see how lowly to be sexually active before the due season.
#14. Your VIRGINITY is not just your pride, it is your TESTIMONY. A testimony that makes you highly appreciated and honoured. Remember, when SOME ONE was needed to ‘MOTHER’ Jesus, only virgins were considered … Will YOU be considered by God for that special Man? Will you be considered by God for that priceless lady? It’s your choice.
#15. Self-Control is a fruit of the Spirit and not a gift. No one was born disciplined yet everyone requires it to succeed in anything worthwhile hence, the need to consciously and consistently cultivate it. A life void of control is a life full of chaos; A life that lacks discipline is one prone to incessant distraction; a distracted life is DOOMED! Maintaining purity in sexuality as either a single or married person will require discipline… God releases grace to disciplined people, not to irresponsible or careless ones. Self-control is simply an ability to say ‘NO’ to tempting and (or) distractive ‘sexual devices’… My ADVICE: Stay away from pornographic contents and environments or people that encourage you in that direction and you’ll make progress.
#16. A guy who insists on sleeping with you before he marries you will not find it difficult to sleep with anyone else he’s not married to, be wise. A lady that pesters you for sex that you are yet to propose to will also have ‘alternatives’ and ‘variants’ whenever you ain’t available … — SINGLES are not designed to “do sex”, only the MARRIED are! Do you know that you have a great future ahead of you? Having pre-marital Sex for even the shortest possible time has life-long and eternal consequences thus, your future goals, dreams and aspirations could be aborted on the premise of hours…minutes…even seconds of ‘crazy-carelessness’. Are you thinking!
#17. Sex was made for everyone yet it’s not for just anyone. You need to be married to qualify, yet you need to marry the right person to be truly fulfilled. You seem to have a crazy drive coz you have fed yourself with so much pornographic content… Books, Magazines, Blogs, Sex chats… You even hang around perverts…WHAT THEN DO YOU EXPECT! Abstinence is only as hard or impossible as you make it. The ‘remote sensor’ to you sex organ is your mind.
#18. The major way to check your drive is to check your mind. Checking and being selective about what you watch, read and those you hang out with will work “MAGIC”! Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.  Put away from you false and dishonest speech, and willful and contrary talk put far from you.  Let your eyes look right on with fixed purpose, and let your gaze be straight before you.  Consider well the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established and ordered aright.  Turn not aside to the right hand or to the left; remove your foot from evil. — Proverbs 4:23–27 AMP
#19. This may sound lame to many, but you need to understand that the best and only right ‘sex(ual) position’ for every single irrespective of class, age or position is simply the position of ‘ABSTINENCE’ and not ‘doggy’ coz you have no business being a dog! This is one of the most honourable things anyone can do as a single.
Condoms MAY prevent pregnancy, but no condom can prevent the PENALTY… Think!
#20. Please be REMINDED: Don’t be deceived, don’t follow the crowd…There is nothing like ‘SAFE SEX’ outside the Marriage zone. Pre-marital sex will endanger you and your future… STAY CLEAR…FLEE! Contrary to what millions of people or more think, Abstinence won’t kill you, Compromise and unholy conformity will.
#21. Abstinence is not impossible; it is however for the responsible! Remember: Your private part is strategically located for you to exercise CONTROL… STOP having to use the line- “I really dunno wah came over me…”, GOD cannot be mocked, why should YOUR private part be someone else’s responsibility?… THINK!
#22. How dare you compare the cost of ‘CDs’ to the price of the cross? Your life is so precious that he willingly paid THAT price… Life is too short for experiments and rather too serious for ‘casual sex’. Take a stand for purity and don’t negotiate for ‘one-night-stands’. Wild emotions are as dangerous as wild animals…even some wild animals get tamed with some consistent and serious measures how much more your sexual urges. Your future is too great to be slayed on the altar of untamed passion, my candid advice to you is to CONFRONT and MANAGE those feelings before they consume you… Cos when it does, you’ll wonder what in the world hit you.
#23. Virginity is a gift, a special gift that cannot be bought (even though many have ‘sold’ and ‘soiled’ theirs)…a truly special gift that should not be sold at the highest of prices! the only way to appreciate it is to guard and treasure it. The only way to reciprocate the kind gesture is to present it to the right person at the right and ideal time. Pre-marital sex breaks the very foundation or basis for trust and breeds post-marital suspicions.
#24. TRUST is a major pillar in any serious relationship; ‘Suspicion’ is a ‘caterpillar’ that eats the life out of any relationship where it is found… Even if you do get to marry him/her, will he/she ever believe no one else has ‘been there’? Trust me; no one will cos you already blew the one chance you had to be believed — YOUR VIRGINITY… Ladies pay more on this note while the guys seem to eat their cake and have it… Hmmm… A word is enough for the wise.
#25. Again, COMMUNICATION is the best medication across relationships. Fornication is a totally wrong approach and the worse choice you can ever make in your pre-marital relationship(s). A trial may not only convince you, it may also may confuse and ‘damage’ you… BEWARE!
#26. Do u have an idea what it means to have a serious self-esteem problem? Damaged or poor self-esteem is one of the sure consequences of premarital sex… You may never be able to really see yourself the way you ought to… It reduces your self-worth and value. Also, If you want your virginity to be appropriately valued, give it in marriage! Anything short of this will end up devaluing you!… Now that’s enough damage if you ask me. You may seem to be bold n proud on the outside but empty and vulnerable on the inside.
#27. Your mentality sets the rhythm for your choice of sexual expressions and belief. Do you have THE MIND OF CHRIST or a corrupt mind that needs ‘critical attention’ from the undiluted word of God… Wish I could make it simpler but my point is this: “As far as pre-marital sex is concerned, be CHASTITY-CONSCIOUS and not CHARITY-MINDED“- that’s what the mind of Christ makes possible.
#28. When singles focus on or emphasize sex in their relationships, they glorify the wrong thing thus heading in a dangerous direction. Even in marriage, it will interest you to know that Sex is not the key to intimacy, it is meant to be an expression of the level of intimacy that exists in the marriage relationship. Real intimacy is a function of 3 major things: Trust, Love and Communication. Call it ‘FUN’ if you like but God calls in ‘FORNICATION’ or rather, should I say ‘FUN-ICATION’… we are speaking the same language.
#29. We have been on this journey together for a little while and we have seen a few reasons to flee from ‘PMS’ (Pre-Marital Sex). At this point, I also want to add that everything in life is a process… God is a god of process… A child becomes a full grown man or woman by first being a baby… No baby becomes mature without the process. The bond that many seek is not different- its a PROCESS and guess what! Pre-marital sex short circuits the emotional bonding process.
#30. On this note, let’s quickly consider a spectacular FAQ: ‘How far is TOO FAR?’ Its good to know where to draw the line. My response to this is very simple, let’s consider 1 Timothy 5:1–2: 1 Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; 2 The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, WITH ALL PURITY. This scripture sets a lot of things straight ANYONE you ain’t married to is nothing other than a father, mother, brother or sister to you and you are to relate with them all in purity! So, If you can kiss or ‘smoosh’ any of those then… Shoot…
#31. Hey! All the single ladies, guess what? If Sex is involved, he can ‘use you’ and ‘dump you’. If Sex is not involved, he can only lose you…yet, he will eventually respect you for the rest of his life WITH your DIGNITY INTACT!
See also, Sex Lies (for Singles) on: https://medium.com/@adeowolabi/sex-lies-singles-version-c7048b49c013#.jve2v6sfq
Sex Truths Part 1 (for Singles) on: https://medium.com/@adeowolabi/sex-truths-part-1-singles-version-efec7ff950a2#.qjbtu99wb
Sex Truths Part 2 (for Singles) on: https://medium.com/@adeowolabi/sex-truths-part-2-singles-version-6087da8d2046#.4oyr2zhnf
Originally published at discoveryessence.wordpress.com on March 30, 2015.