Dear Male Allies (of feminism)
Karo Omu

Would generally love to read from you again and be part of your journey towards organizing your thoughts better and inevitably impacting the world around you positively.

Your proposition is that men need to listen more, lend tier voice appropriately and ensure we have constructive actions targeted at ensuring equality and a much more inclusive society. Hard to argue or detest that and in any case I stand corrected. In fact, one of greatest challenges as humans is that we are sometimes too quick to lay judgement/opinion without a clear understanding of the other side of the equation. This I believe listening can help solve, effectively especially if cultivated by both sides of the divide. Like I have refrained in recent times, I think half of the world’s problem would be solved if only more of us think about the impact that our action or inaction might have on the next person. We need to fix ourselves more at the receiving end while we measure the optics and potential impact, before deciding on our actions/in-actions.

The few observations I have however made and somewhat perhaps responsible for why there are sometimes unsure/misguided allies;

  • The feminist ideals in some cases is sometimes intertwined with misandry. Especially in cases where bitterness and ill emotion erode facts and situation of particular cases of alleged inequality
  • The term feminist and movement in some quarters is deemed to be side lobbed and insinuating a take-over as opposed to equality and a fair voice of reasoning and actioning which is the main and true purpose of feminism according to many school of thought
  • The thought and imposed expectations in some quarters that there are indeed a generalized/conclusive set of deliverables or one size fits all approach when it comes to feminism/equality, especially when it comes to family and relationship constructs. Whereas in essence, only a handful of contexts (equal pay, sexual/child/mental abuse, economic participation, decision making, choices) cut across board, while actually most other contexts would need to be handled/interpreted/decided by those involved.

Again, the above does not constitute an excuse but an observation and a genuine attempt to unraveling the “why”.