Why do you exist?
Seriously. Think about it.
If you ignored the image above, go ahead and read it before you read this post. Seriously, carefully examine the image. If you’re too lazy to do that, then I respectfully ask you to leave. Seriously. View the image.
Every single day I ask myself what am I going to achieve today. I even plan my days the night before, so I have an idea for what I hope to accomplish. It’s pretty interesting because I ambitiously jot down tasks, and more often than not, I don’t finish them all. When I don’t finish one, I feel sad.
Feeling sad has changed my life in ways that most people would not be able to process.
Being sad makes me who I am. I was sad when my grandfather passed away on my way to a soccer game. I scored a hat-trick and played the best game of my life (note: I never before that match scored a goal that season). I was sad when I broke up with my former girlfriend. After, I played the best damn game of ping pong (seriously, I was really good) with my friend who generously opened up his house to console me. On a more serious note, I was sad when I started to compare my achievements to my brother. I reflected and evaluated and modified my way of thinking and lifestyle. I was sad when I found so many loopholes with virtual learning. Currently, I am doing the most exciting and insightful research I can be.
Being sad is so often looked down upon, but it has helped me to identify my purpose. I know now exactly why I am writing that to-do list every night. I know now why I am spending hours each week reading literature and research. I know exactly why I am taking 18 credits and arguably a more difficult semester than my semester during recruiting. I know why I am okay with people laughing about my writing and blog posts. I know why.
I was sad with my academic experience. I used it as motivation to change my journey.
People are too often preoccupied with how others will view them. “This kid’s gonna write another blog post about it.” “This kid’s gonna get sad again.” The time in life when what you do and why you do it start to align is probably the best step towards maturity. When you block out what other people will say because you truly know your focus. When what you believe, what you say, and what you do are truly in harmony.
Every day, I have a purpose.
I have a purpose for why I want to write. I have a purpose for why I want to do research. I have a purpose for why I verbally hate on my academic experiences. It is my purpose that allows me to evaluate, reflect, and grow.
Every day, I know my purpose.
My purpose in life is to become an educator and activist. I pledge my life to changing education systems around the world, both traditional and virtual systems. I hope to discover voids and shortcomings with educational systems and research solutions and insights. I want to influence the future of education, and I am carving my current path to allow me to achieve this goal.
You might think you know your purpose, but you’re probably wrong.
If you asked me two years ago, my purpose was to be a professional consultant. What kind of purpose is that? What are my reasons? What are my motivations? Only when I genuinely became sad — I reached a low point in my life — I was able to understand my purpose. When you start to welcome vulnerability and uncertainty in your life, you will notice significant improvements. When you start to explore the world and become frustrated, you will notice significant improvements. When you start to question why you exist, you will notice significant improvements.
Don’t feel afraid to create your own narrative. Don’t feel afraid when people jokingly make fun of you. Don’t feel afraid when no one around you understands your values and mission. Don’t feel afraid when you want to do something major. Don’t feel afraid when you want to think differently. Don’t feel afraid when you want to dream big. Don’t feel afraid.
Here’s a list of things that terrify me and make me sad, yet I am endlessly curious about.
I want to know:
Why women continue to get paid less than men.
Why religion — which was created to liberate and unite — antithetically creates conflict, tension, and disputes.
Why MOOCs, an education technology marvel that increases access to education, continues to reward already privileged students, but don’t support those who arguably need them the most.
Why college curriculums don’t always have the flexibility to allow students to explore and learn.
Why people can spend hours of their days watching Netflix shows, but make excuses as they claim they don’t have time to exercise or read a book.
Why we live in a world where differences are attacked and criticized, labeled as “abnormal”, instead of being celebrated and cherished.
Why some Americans still think all Muslims are terrorists.
Why people are constantly evaluated by a number — their GPA, instagram likes, times they drank in the last month.
Why America is the only country where we fear that CNN notification alerting us about some individual who easily obtains a gun and engages in a mass shooting.
I want to know a lot. But, what do you want to know?
Figure out what you want to know, and then just maybe, you will know why you exist.
Disclaimer: And no, wanting to know how to help companies improve their business strategy was not good enough for me. That was not my purpose, but rather a purpose created for me. That’s a story for a different time, but for now, be sad, be genuine, be reflective, and most importantly, be curious.
- AA :)
