Finding purpose

Going with the wagon of being another individual who yearns to be successful; what is success I have found myself questioning. Working a job that pays six figures in a currency that was once alien to me, would have been my answer a year ago. Because is that not we have been taught? You elevate as your pockets get heavier. You need to study more and hope for a better future with the education. You get so immersed in that goal. You look for that raise. You push people around, pull people down. It is a struggle. You find yourself draining. You are on Prozac, but alive. You are edging towards it. You get closer to that six figures you have been eyeing…

You get there. The feeling is ecstatic. The happiness is surreal…

But ephemeral.

Now what? You feel accomplished?

You consciously acknowledge the fugacious juvenescence. You are more hollow than ever. You have made life and met your specious success. You have ties that have been severed in the process, your rationality takes an ironic beating with the increase in money and education.

I see it, because I tread experiences of others, because my rationality is not clouded by poor judgement. Not yet. At 25, I want to escape this vicious cycle. I refuse to be that facile dunce. So, I need to ask myself -

What am I doing? Why am I doing what I am doing? Are my actions talking about what I believe in? What do I even believe in? What is it that I seek to be? The purpose of existence, the meaning behind my daily actions, the expanse of my efforts and the direction of progress as an individual needs a retrospective lens.