Is Romanticizing Life A Path to Happiness or Escapism?
by: Adiatma Pradnyana
“I romanticize life the way artists see scenery or a dreamer gazes up at the stars.” — Anastasia Bolinder
For some individuals, the term “boring” aptly encapsulates their daily routine. They find themselves waking up early, dedicating the majority of their day to work, and returning home late, only to retire to bed and repeat the cycle all over again the next day. Weekends offer a slight reprieve, granting them some free time to indulge in self-care, take leisurely walks with their pets, or pursue their hobbies. However, this semblance of freedom is a luxury not afforded to everyone, as a staggering 25% of people worldwide are obligated to toil almost incessantly, even on weekends. In essence, they’re on the path to becoming workaholics, a trend that’s sadly not uncommon. In our relentless pursuit of success and survival in a cruel and competitive world, we often overlook the desires of our hearts.
In response to the phenomenon, the concept of life romanticization has emerged, offering individuals a mindful approach to engage with their daily experiences both physically and mentally. The New York Times featured articles discussing the movement’s focus on appreciating the simplicity of life and living with intentionality, even amidst seemingly ordinary daily rituals. This emphasis on cherishing the present moment and acknowledging the value of what surrounds us serves as a refreshing perspective in the midst of the rationalized society. The movement gained significant traction on social media during the COVID-19 pandemic, coinciding with a notable increase in global anxiety and depression rates, as reported by the World Health Organization (WHO), which highlighted a 25% surge in prevalence.
Life romanticization manifests uniquely for each individual, as exemplified by the diverse approaches shared by Livia, a London-based entrepreneur,
“It takes time, but you can become that person who wakes up early, makes a homemade latte, and reads ten pages of a book before work. Start by getting up just 15 minutes earlier, and work your way up from there”- Livia from Made With Lemons
On the other hand, a California fashion blogger, Elizabeth Hugen emphasizes the transformative power of wearing one’s favorite attire daily, rejecting the notion of reserving special garments for rare occasions,
“I’ve always been a huge advocate of wearing what makes you feel your best! With this said, I think that a lot of us tend to “save items” for special occasions when in reality, that occasion may not come. If it makes you feel beautiful and special, then why wouldn’t you want to wear it? From now on, let’s make a pact — only wear what makes you feel your absolute best!” — Elizabeth from Lizzie in Lace
These anecdotes represent just a glimpse into the myriad ways people infuse charm and allure into their everyday lives, akin to adding a garnish to an ordinary-plain salad. The movement to romanticize life underscores the importance of cherishing moments and elevating the mundane into something extraordinary, ultimately fostering a sense of fulfillment and joy in daily existence.
Embracing the philosophy of romanticizing your life often intertwines with the trend of “being the main character of your life’. Equated to being a protagonist in a movie, the notion serves as a gentle nudge to seize control of your own narrative. It encourages embracing a full sense of agency and fearlessly embodying your true self, while also firmly defending your boundaries. Perhaps you find echoes of Rory Gilmore from Gilmore Girls as you lose yourself in a book at the library, clad in a cozy white sweater. Or maybe you channel Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, radiating feminine energy with every step in unabashedly pink attire en route to class. And then there are moments when you walk down the street, clad in effortlessly chic outfits, feeling every bit like Andy from The Devil Wears Prada. Each instance is a testament to the power of embracing your uniqueness and asserting your presence in the story of your own life.
However, the allure of romanticizing life is often overshadowed by unrealistic standards, particularly as it blew up on social media where people compete to showcase curated content in the most aesthetically pleasing manner possible. Unfortunately, this phenomenon often leads to the misconception that romanticizing life necessitates the accumulation of material possessions for happiness. Morning skincare routines, renewing scented candles every week, early morning pilates or yoga sessions, and grabbing Starbucks caramel macchiato on the way to work have become emblematic of this trend. What was once a beautiful concept aimed at finding joy in the simplicity of everyday moments has now morphed into a competition of flaunting lavishness, leaving those who do not fit the mold of extreme wealth feeling inadequate.
Besides materialism, the notion of romanticizing life can inadvertently foster a self-centered perspective, prioritizing personal happiness over collective well-being and societal responsibilities. While the concept advocates for appreciating the little joys in life and being the protagonist of one’s own story, it can lead individuals to prioritize their own desires and pleasures above the needs of others. This can manifest in actions such as focusing solely on activities that bring personal enjoyment, disregarding commitments or obligations that benefit the greater good, and failing to empathize with those who may not have the privilege or opportunity to romanticize their own lives. Moreover, the emphasis on maintaining a facade of positivity and glamor, as encouraged by romanticized narratives, may further distance individuals from acknowledging and addressing real-life struggles and societal issues.
The concept of pretty privilege is often found in ‘romanticizing your life’ contents on social media nowadays, underscoring how societal standards of beauty can exert pressure on individuals to conform to certain appearances. This pressure often intersects with the desire to embody the role of the “main character” in one’s life, perpetuated by media representations and popular narratives. The emphasis on looking a certain way to feel like the protagonist can breed unrealistic expectations and reinforce superficiality. This dynamic not only undermines genuine self-love and acceptance but also creates barriers for those who do not fit conventional beauty standards. Ultimately, prioritizing external appearance as a determinant of one’s worth detracts from the richness of individual experiences and perpetuates narrow notions of identity and fulfillment.
A youtuber named Olisunvia stated an interesting perspective by drawing a connection between the current trend of “romanticizing your life” and the phenomenon of romanticizing mental illness and abuse, which poses significant ethical concerns. For example, someone with social anxiety might try to view their condition as a means to excel academically or professionally, rather than recognizing its debilitating impact on their social interactions. This approach trivializes the seriousness of mental health challenges and may discourage individuals from seeking necessary support and treatment. By idealizing such struggles, people risk downplaying their severity and perpetuating harmful stereotypes. This can lead to a dangerous normalization of suffering and discourage individuals from seeking appropriate help and support. Moreover, romanticizing mental illness and abuse can reinforce a distorted narrative that portrays these experiences as somehow glamorous or profound, neglecting the immense pain and trauma that they often entail. Such romanticization not only undermines the lived experiences of those affected but also perpetuates harmful myths and misconceptions surrounding mental health and interpersonal violence. Approaching these topics with sensitivity and empathy is very essential, acknowledging the complexity and seriousness of these issues rather than romanticizing them for the sake of personal narrative or aesthetic appeal.
Back to the main title, asking “Is romanticizing life a path to happiness or escapism ?” The answer depends on us. The concepts of “romanticizing your life” and “being the main character of your own story” should not diminish our intrinsic worth as individuals. Instead, it’s about recognizing the beauty in everyday moments, even in the mundane, rather than adhering to a rigid stereotype of romanticization that prioritizes lavishness over genuine contentment. Achieving a balance between personal happiness, self-love, and societal responsibilities is crucial for a well-rounded and fulfilling life. While embracing the idea of romanticizing life encourages us to cherish the ordinary and embrace our unique narratives, it’s vital to also acknowledge the importance of empathy and fulfilling our obligations to others. By striking this balance, we can lead lives that are both personally fulfilling and contribute positively to the well-being of our communities.
Wisdom is your perspective on life, your sense of balance, your understanding of how the various parts and principles apply and relate to each other.
Steven R. Covey
Sources:
Boerger, Livia. “30 Small Ways to Romanticize Your Life.” Made With Lemons, 22 Aug. 2021, https://madewithlemons.co/ways-to-romanticize-your-life/.
Caron, Christina. “The Mundane Thrill of ‘Romanticizing Your Life.’” The New York Times, The New York Times, 11 May 2022, https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/11/well/mind/romanticize-your-life-tiktok.html.
Everything Wrong w/ Romanticize Your Life: Eurocentrism, Hedonism, Unrealistic, Etc. 2021.
“How to Romanticize Your Life in 30 Ways.” Lizzie in Lace, 2 Jan. 2024, https://www.lizzieinlace.com/how-to-romanticize-your-life/.
Natera, Vanessa. “Romanticization: A New Definition Is Seeing the Beauty in the Every Day, but Is It Worth It?” The Spellbinder, https://thespellbinder.net/9341/opinion/romanticization-is-it-worth-it/. Accessed 27 Mar. 2024.
