The surviving coaches of the United States 2008 U20 World Cup Championship Team (L-R, Kat Mertz, Amanda Cromwell & Tom Stone) share memories and pictures of Tony and the U20’s journey during the Memorial at Central Connecticut State University’s Welte Theatre on July 8, 2017.

Thank You Dad!

Anthony DiCicco
Aug 9, 2017 · 11 min read

I could’ve called this story “Reflections from an Emotional Tsunami.” That title would have been equally apt. I have enjoyed and hated this process. This is an attempt to share some of it with those who love our father, Tony DiCicco.

Time has less relevance than it did before. Dictated by time. ETAs and on-time departures. Dad even had his own take on time, Tony Time. All of his teams, staff coaches, coaching school candidates and certainly the boys are very familiar with Tony Time. But in the third dimension, time continues to pass. A day. A week. A month…

Saturday was Dad’s Birthday. It was also another Saturday. I had intended to share this (or something similar) on that day, but I couldn’t. No words. Okay, I typed three words, “Happy Birthday, Dad.” And then I stopped typing. Instead, Mom and I sat down and for the first time we watched the video of the Memorial Service.

The service was the signature event in a weekend of events exactly a month ago the family and a group of incredible friends pulled together to…ugh…I don’t want to say “celebrate” again — what a frustrating word to try to capture a lifetime’s worth of emotion. It’s actually one of the most common experiences I’ve found. Either my mastery of the English language lacks the necessary nuance to convey my emotion or the emotion is too complex for language.

Either way, we as a family have been deliberate about trying to share as much as people are interested in understanding about Dad’s physical death and his transformation into an eternal ideal, a concept, a beacon, a benchmark, a newfound strength…into pure, unfiltered, unconditional Love.

In the time immediately before and after his death, we shed our concept of time. We were all on-call 24/7 and following his death, we were ships passing aimlessly in the night. Sometimes we would sit and share, or listen to LPs. Sometimes we wouldn’t be able to sleep. Sometimes we fell asleep for hours at a time. It was disorienting, jet-lag without the corresponding trip.

But that’s misleading. The journey was the destination.


At the Boston Breakers game (7.7.2017) Former US Women’s National Team and Boston Breakers players gathered to take in the Breakers versus Chicago Red Stars in Cambridge, Massachusetts. (L to R, Cody Akers, Michelle Akers, Mia Hamm, Brandi Chastain, Tracy Noonan, Jordan Angeli, Cindy Parlow Cone, Amanda Cromwell, Briana Scurry, Mary Harvey and Cat Whitehall.) Photo Credit: Brittani Bartok

THE GAME

It rained all day. The drive up to Boston was slow. We didn’t know what to expect. We didn’t know who was planning to join us. We simply returned to the site of his last professional coaching assignment and shared with friends, family and the public where we would be.

After running the necessary errands and setting in motion the logistics for the day, my brother Drew, Brittani Bartok of Soccer Social, who had come in to help us document the weekend, and I settled into a bar sunken below Winthrop Square not unlike an English basement.

It started off with just the three of us. Then the SoccerPlus Camps crew joined us, two top Directors flew in directly from camp in Southern California, they were joined by other staff and student alumni. A World Champion dropped in, as well as other Breakers and women’s soccer who didn’t know Dad or us as well, yet felt welcomed enough to gather with us — that felt appropriate and special.

He was always inclusive. He always had time for everyone.

As we left the bar, the rain stopped. Good timing, Dad. And we walked across the Charles and into the Harvard Athletic Complex, a walk I had done countless times with him during his three years as the Breakers’ Head Coach. This was the first of an ongoing pattern of finding him everywhere. For this part of the process, that was deliberate.

Top Left: Drew, Lauren and Rebekah telling some stories and having a laugh. Top Right: Nick and me with current Boston Breakers Brooke Elby and Tiffany Weimer. Tiffany captained the SoccerPlus CT Reds (WPSL) when Dad was the Head Coach in 2007 and 2008. Bottom Right: Emma Hayes, Chelsea Ladies Manager, surprised us by flying in from London and catching a ride up with our amazing friend, Amanda Vandervort.

When I arrived at the stadium, a few folks had gathered. And then, like at the bar, the crowd grew. People from every aspect of Dad’s and our lives started to come out of the woodwork. Former teammates of his from Springfield College and his professional days, cousins, coaches, friends and even some people whom we’d never met. It was festive…and hard.

It was all hard. The incredible power of the game (and it would be true of the weekend) was humbling and also each conversation carried so much emotion and baggage that at times it felt it would be too much. It wasn’t.

The game was 0–0. Most of the goalkeepers in attendance thought Dad would’ve appreciate some good goalkeeping, especially given that the Chicago Red Stars GK, Alyssa Naeher, had played for Dad on three separate occasions.

Following the game, Alyssa, former SPGS Director, ’99 World Champion and Boston Breakers Founding Player, Tracy Noonan and former Boston Breakers President, Joe Cummings all addressed the crowd. Nobody moved. Nobody left, everyone hung on every word and took it all in. He had given us the gift of an incredible night together in Boston.


Group picture at the top of Talcott Mountain, 7.8.2017.

THE HIKE

Again, not knowing who would show up at a random address in the middle of nowhere — a beautiful place — in Connecticut on a Saturday morning. On the drive over, I was fully prepared to be alone in the woods with my brothers…except people showed up, a lot of people.

This was time to gather, time to remember, time to collect ourselves and most importantly time together.

Mick D’Arcy, a longtime confidant of Dad’s and GM for SoccerPlus in the 90s, had collected some of the TD armbands that the US Men’s National Team had worn in the USA-Ghana game the week earlier. Before we embarked, he gave each of the four boys an armband to wear up the hill. When we arrived at the top, the gathering was underway. It was a magical scene to wander into.


THE SERVICE

The signature event of the weekend and the most powerful. Those who wish to view the service and the pictures can do so, I’m not prepared to write too much about the service. It was one of the most special things I have ever been a part of.

That wouldn’t have been possible without Mick, Thom Meredith, Dana Schoenwetter, Peter O’Keefe and Geoff VanDeusen. Our gratitude for the work they put in to make it the event happen can’t be surmised here. I am forever in their debt.

I only want to say two things about the service. First, how proud I am of my brothers, Drew, Nick, Alex, Alex’s wife, Nicole and all of those who have surrounded us and blanketed us in love for so long, but especially this year and especially as we got deeper into the process. Even with a two and a half hour surface, it still feels like we’re just scratching the surface of quite simply, an amazing life.

For those who wish to watch the service, but not all of it, the speakers and the start time of each section are below:

Master of Ceremonies:
Julie Foudy

Speakers (start time in video):
CCSU President, Dr. Zulma Toro (5:15)
Drew DiCicco (7:50)
George Purgavie (15:45)
Anson Dorrance (28:00)
Joe Cummings (45:00)
Tom Stone, Kat Mertz, Amanda Cromwell (50:00)
Nikki Washington (1:10:00)
Shawn Kelly, Mick D’Arcy, Skye Eddy Bruce, Dave Latourette (1:19:45)
Mia Hamm (1:44:55)
Ted May, Steve Potter — slideshow (1:53:10)
Anthony DiCicco (2:03:10)
Kirby O’Keefe (2:18:45)
Diane DiCicco (2:22:00)

As I said that day in New Britain, “It is the great privilege of my life to be the son of Tony and Diane…and that doesn’t change.”

One of the saddest, happiest, proudest, hardest moments of my life. Just kept saying to myself, “Pressure is a privilege.” Thank you Dad!

THE GOLF

The Golf Outing might have been the most impressive thing to happen all weekend. Brian Sullivan, Ted May, Ed Dombrowski, Steve Potter, Peter O’Keefe and others were able to pull together a 50 person golf outing at Keney Golf Club in Hartford…in 10 DAYS! Superhuman and an incredible day — except, you know for my golfing. Even I found some pretty good shots. (Thanks Dad!)

Although, it was the guy in the purple shirt below who had the Hole-in-One!

Alex is our best golfer now. But Nick seems intent on catching up. Stay tuned for that ongoing sibling battle.

July 7–9, 2017. A weekend we will treasure forever.

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