Finding A New Mantra

I always knew what the word “mantra” meant, I understood how it could help you, but I never really used one. Until last year after a hard break up. I was doing yoga one day and the instructor kept repeating the mantra, “I am letting go of that which no longer serves me.” Wow, how cool. To be able to let go of what I was trying so hard to hold on to. This heartache certainly was doing more harm than good, and it was about time to let go of it. So I repeated this mantra in my head every day each time a negative thought would creep into my mind. And guess what? It worked! I was eventually able to let go of my pain, even to the point of forgiving the person who caused it in the first place.

Now, I am at a very different point in my life. The only pain I’m experiencing is from my thoughts, and it’s very hard to get past the baggage I’m carrying. At times, I feel worthless, like everyone would be better off without me, like I’m no good and I’m actually causing people harm by being here. I feel like I have no purpose, like I’m going to fail out of school, like I can’t successfully be on my own. And even though these are all lies, I still have a hard time believing anything good about myself.

Here’s where the cool part comes in. Tonight I went to my favorite coffee shop to get some reading done for the upcoming semester, my first semester of grad school — something I’m very nervous about. When I walked into the coffee shop, I saw my friend sitting on her laptop and felt a wave of relief that I didn’t have to be alone while I was there (recently I haven’t liked being alone, but that’s a whole other story). I greeted her with a hug and we talked for a while, but eventually got to our work. After reading five whole pages of extremely dry, dense scholarly writing, I needed a break so I turned to my friend and we started talking again. She had mentioned seeing the page for the yoga videos I follow (same as I mentioned before) and said she loved the instructor. We got on the topic of mantras and she shared with me the one she has been repeating (and believing) for the past few weeks.

“I am currently living the life I have always dreamed of.”

Man, did that hit me hard. I sat for a minute and thought about this mantra. I fully accepted it as my own and realized that it was completely true. If you asked me five years ago where I wanted to be at in five years, my answer would be somewhere along the lines of: going to school for what I love, in a city that I love, with friends that I love — learning, growing, and finding the best possible version of myself. And what am I currently doing? Exactly that.

I challenge you to take on this new mantra for yourself. To make it true in your life and to accept that it is your reality. The power of words is overwhelming sometimes, and finding some form of truth to hold on to during this mess we call life can be extremely helpful. You’re in the middle of the life you’ve always dreamed of. And if you’re not, then do whatever you can to change that and make it true. This is a beautiful life we’re given and we should take full advantage of making that mantra as true as ever.

I believe it for myself and I believe it for you.