4.5 things I learned by teaching “Radical Candor” to over 500 people
If you haven’t read Kim Scott’s “Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity” yet, then you absolutely need to. If you interact with other humans during your waking hours, you can benefit from this book.
In short, it is about being caring and challenging when you deliver praise or critiques or feedback or guidance to others (not sure if this is a Kim Scott approved summary of the whole book). In other words, Radical Candor Is a compass for candid conversations!

About a year and a half ago I came across Scott’s “Radical Candor”. I watched her ‘FirstRound Capital’ talk, and immediately wanted to share the message with other people. I mentioned the concept of Radical Candor in an off-hand Slack group chat at work one afternoon, and a colleague asked me to run a workshop for the HR department. Ever since then, I have run just about 24 workshops on Radical Candor, with total attendees approaching 600 (though I tweak the workshop after each session, the core concept and design has remained the same).
Looking back on the most common concerns/reactions I get from participants of all levels, from mid to senior level managers, Hi-Po employees, to recent college grads, here are four things I have learned.
If you are teaching others about Radical Candor, I am sure some of the objections below will be presented to you.
1 | A common language is critical
The number #1 question I hear is “has my manager been through this training?”
When people sit through the workshop and do a few role-play exercises, they start to see themselves managing upwards. So understandably, people wonder if their manager is already primed with a Radical Candor mindset.
It is quite challenging to talk about “Obnoxious Aggression” and have your team keep you in-check if they don’t speak the same language.
Life happens in language, and if we don’t first focus on developing a common language among our teams and organizations, we will remain disconnected with our peers.
In my workshops, I suggest for people to talk about the Radical Candor framework with their teams and team leaders to build a common language. One of the best ways I advise people to do that after they leave the workshop is to have everyone on their team draw the Radical Candor framework so as to remind each other as they need to recalibrate and get back to the radical candor box.
2 | People are afraid of this backfiring
I have yet to lead a workshop where I don’t get asked something along the lines of “what happens when we are being radically candid in the best of ways and the other person just reacts negatively or is offended and it backfires?”

Another book we have incorporated in this workshop is called “Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well” by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen.
In Thanks for the Feedback, Stone and Heen talk about the three triggers of feedback receivers. Every time, I remind people that even if you have practiced being caring and challenging and are being wonderfully radically candid, the receiver can always react badly and we can’t always control that. It is also helpful to remember we can learn more about triggers (cue Thanks for the Feedback) and anticipate the triggers and fortify our communication proactively.

3 | People think more about critiquing than praising
Don’t forget about praise!
In every single workshop I have led on the topic I ask people how much time they spend preparing to give tough feedback. The answers vary from a couple hours to a few weeks (putting it off and just mulling it over).
I then ask people how long they spend preparing to give someone really impactful praise. Almost every time people give a simple “well, I just give the praise”!
Remember, praise needs to be just as well thought out, actionable, specific, and clear as difficult feedback needs to be! Most people forget that Radical Candor is not just about delivering difficult feedback, but it is also about challenging our teams to repeat their successes (while also caring for them).
One of the action items I impart to my audience is to offer three praises for each critique they dole out this week. Try it. Encourage yourself to be in a praise ready state of mind.
The world would benefit greatly if more of us adopted an attitude of gratitude.

4 | It’s never as simple until you play with scenarios
When most people see the Radical Candor framework and we walk through It together, I get a lot of “oh yea, this makes sense. Very simple.” Until I present some real-life scenarios to them.
It’s true, the framework does make sense and it is simple, but it is not necessarily easy and doesn’t come naturally to us all.
It is not easy to ignore the “if you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all” line our mothers have been telling us our whole lives. It takes some practice to be able to “embrace the awkward for a few minutes” at the benefit of a richer relationship down the road.
For example, one of the scenarios I present to people is that they have a person on their teams who is consistently making careless mistakes on emails going to clients. How do you bring this to her attention?
People usually respond with
“Well, I’d just tell her”,
or “I’d set-up a meeting and have a chat”,
or “I’ll find out if she’s distracted”.
But when I push back and ask people to tell me exactly what they would say . . . the actual words they would use, people clam up.
It takes some practice to be caring and challenging in one go.
Practice the framework, and ask for people to be radically candid with you about how radically candid you are being and how you can improve.
4.5 | Building trust Is paramount
Pertinent to each of the lessons I have learned, the importance of building trusting and respectful relationships is absolutely a game changer. Yes, you can be radically candid with a stranger on the sidewalk, but when you incorporate the Radical Candor framework into a relationship that already has trust and respect present, then you start to see some magical results. That Is when you are even more willing to “embrace the awkward in the now” for the sake of a deeper relationship down the road.
If your teammates, leaders, friends, and family can trust that whatever you are telling them is, indeed, for their own benefit because you care so much about them, then your job of being radically candid and clear in your praise and critique for them will come much easier than if your relationship was based on doubt and fear.
Try It:
Read the books “Radical Candor” and “Thanks for the Feedback”
If you don’t have time for that read the summaries from getAbstract or dozens of other book summary sites
Also, listen to the Radical Candor podcast to hear dozens of real life stories further giving insight into Radical Candor
Then, start explaining the framework to those around you. Once you have done that, start implementing it. Start being caring and challenging in your interactions with others and remember to give three praises for each critique you want to hand out.
Let me know how it has improved your conversations and relationships.
I am not associated with, and my services are not endorsed or sponsored by, Kim Scott or Radical Candor, LLC. To learn more about official Radical Candor training, please visit the Radical Candor website.

