What does your mind say?
There are certain moments in your life when you start thinking a lot. Situations in which you get extremely overwhelmed, to a point, your thoughts are like a chain reaction. So overwhelmed that you stop living in your thoughts but instead looking at it from far away distance. Suddenly each and every thought stops meaning something to you. It is you mind’s way of letting you know to stop what you are doing. You can’t blame yourself because you can’t see what your thought at this moment. How to take action when you don’t even know what the order is. All you’re looking at, is a mist on top of the river, with mist being the thoughts and river conclusion of your thought. Is it only you? or there are other people who experience the very same thing every single day of their life.
When this moment arise, you initially try to comprehend those thoughts. The first two thoughts, you’ll remember them as it will be directly related to the situation which caused it. And then, suddenly your mind would stop comprehending anything thrown at it. It is like, your mind is creating the thoughts but at the same time not trying to understand it. Mind takes a back seat, completely numb. You just know that your mind is overworking but can’t seem to understand why. It is like you started a train and you broke the switch-off lever. Interesting thing is, even though your mind has taken a back seat but your thoughts are no where near shutting down, causing your mind to be extremely tired within 15–20 mins. You feel sleepy and extremely tired after that. You have this huge strain on your forehead which you know that your thoughts are causing but how can you stop it when you can’t even comprehend your thoughts anymore. It is like, how do you see what is in the river when there is a huge mist right above it blocking the entire view. You do know what started this chain reaction of thoughts but, at this point, your mind doesn’t really care and has taken the back seat watching the entire show. You do remember the very first two thoughts which started this entire process, so you are very well aware of the things which are not going well in your life.
I would love to call it a “panic attack” but I can’t. Knowingly that a panic attacks are short, repeatable, and predictable. But what I am talking about is not short, rather chronic. It does have a triggering point but now it has come to a point where you don’t even know what that is. It just becomes a part of your life or personality, I should say. Therefore, it can’t be repeated as it never ended to begin with. It can be predicted as it is always there. Now it s a part of you, a personality trait. People with this trait are anxious, worried, under-confident, and overly cautious about every aspect of their life.
Some people call it, whatever phenomenon I have discussed so far, “midlife crisis.” But I think this phenomena has no name. At least, I am unaware of the name. Please, forgive my shortcoming.
Those rapid firing of thoughts are not some invaluable pebbles. They have a huge meaning. Something you can look back and reflect upon in your free times while you throw each and every pebble into the pond of your brain. It greatly changes your way of thinking and your future judgment skills. But how do you relive your thoughts vividly? how do you get rid of that mist and see what lies beneath it? the only possible way I could come up with is to write! whenever you can.
Whenever you write, those thoughts slow down. Suddenly that mist of the river changes into distinct blocks. Something you can feel. Writing does that. This will alow you relive every single thought you had at the time of crisis, taking home a meaning or a conclusion from it. Your mind calms down as it has answers to every thought you had at the first moment. Now your mind knows the answers of your thoughts. Your mind is no more a copper ball charged with alternative current but a bulb emitting harmonic pulsatile light.
There are so many reason I can think of to why humans can experience that. Perhaps, have an OCD, or a fear of not living up to people’s expectation or fear of failure. Reasons to the above mentioned phenomena can be anything which would define the remedy you need to take but before starting the treatment you need to investigate the cause. And to investigate the cause, you need to understand what triggered it and what your mind is thinking for it.