Cultivating Love
Ever been in a relationship where…
You lose sleep over this person. You love them so much you aren’t sure how to be apart from them?
They are constantly checking in over the phone to make sure you are safe at home or at least know your every check in point.
He requires constant check in’s if he isn’t with you at every waking moment.
Just in case.
You work long hours to make sure she has all of her needs met. The basics for and of course to enjoy herself with ample social outings with friends. And spoil her with new toys, clothes, and the highest quality of food, organic non-gmo and some adorable shoes.
If they aren’t listening and adhereing to the boundaries and follow the lifestyle, religion or philosophy you would like or vice versa then it’s tough. That could be a deal breaker for anyone.
Would you want to be in a relationship like this?
Sounds like a real winner.
Let’s switch the narrative and say the relationship above isn’t romantic. It’s the relationship you have with your newborn baby, child or teenager.
The constant check-ins to see if she’s still awake or finally nodding off to sleep. Losing sleep from nights of nursing, teething, gas, etc.
Or a new driver, is he coming home on time from curfew?
If you hired a sitter or with parents, are they still alive, can you trust your newly found sitter?
In relationships more so in romantic relationships our love can become intertwined with lust, status, cerebral stimulation, econonmic stability. Maybe that’s not everyone’s situation. Finances, romance, sex, goals — come into play in nearly every relationship. And then all the ways we can check in on our loved ones.
As a parent, I can say, that the love of a parent is very different from a romantic love. It’s sudden and unexpected willingness to sacrifice your body, time, sleep and every moment obsessing about your child. And it’s not stocker-ish. It’s most definetly a must in some cases. Most of the those things would seem a bit much if you were in a romanitc relationship.
There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.- Jane Austin
Love seems to me to be ones ability to hold love, and to recognize when to warm our hearts. Even in the tired sleepless nights of parenthood. A new budding romance. Or a long term relationship.
Our individual ability to let our guards down and to let our heart feel empathy, compassion and warmth may be one of our biggest assests in the fast pace society we live in.
When the day is done- What are some ways to replenish, rejuvinate and refill ourselves to connect more with love.
Love is when you choose to be at your best when the other person is not at their best.
Love is when what you want is never important. But what the other person needs and wants is always paramount. -Wintley Phipps
- Redifine yourself, in order to stop thinking about yourself. Make sure you take care of you. When you feel fullfilled it’s more likely you can listen to your spouse, child or friend. And to meet the other person where he/she is at. Our abities to grow and redefine ourselves is more literal now than ever. Every 7 years every cell in our body is completely different and we have shed our biology. We literally can redefine our selfs and become renewed.
- Take time to replenish-if you introverted some alone time. For an extrovert that may mean a girls night or guys night. Sometimes a bath with candles. Or a movie does the trick. Or a high intensity training sesh. Listen to your body.
- Meditate and Find Stillness. These still moments are so important. Heat mapping has become a new thing to help us tap into our inner self. A heart map is a visual reminder of all a student loves and cares about. It expands students’ minds and helps them think broadly about what really matters. In doing so, students move away from writing about superficial topics, and travel to a deeper place inside themselves. When we do this we become our authentic self.
- Be Open & Stay Open. This truth about staying open is key. Without it our hearts won’t be able to understand our innate purpose and self. Our voice and the voice of wisdom is lost if we aren’t open to where we need to go and to possibilities that we would not otherwise see if we hid or “knew” it all. Stay open minded even when you have formed your opinions.
