Dear middle-aged white woman on the train scolding me for giving a man a dollar,

My name is Aditi Juneja, it’s nice to meet you. (You didn’t introduce yourself before offering your opinion so I thought I’d remedy that.)

First, I wasn’t being manipulated by the person on the train asking for money. In fact, I didn’t even hear why he was asking for money because I was wearing headphones. It did occur to me that he might be battling an addiction, like millions of people across the United States. I decided that it wasn’t for me to make judgements about who is worthy of help so I gave him the dollar as he requested.

Secondly, I appreciate that you may have been trying to be helpful by warning me that people who ask for money on the train are all “scamming” us and that you know this because you’ve “been in the city for 30 years”. I did not find your input helpful.

Through my education as a law student, interested in criminal justice reform, I am continuously learning about the challenges various marginalized groups face. For example, there is a reason so many people are homeless in NYC. You can read about it here: http://www.coalitionforthehomeless.org/the-catastrophe-of-homelessness/why-are-so-many-people-homeless/. Likewise, you can learn about who is living in poverty in NYC here: http://www.nyc.gov/html/ceo/html/poverty/lookup.shtml. Finally, you can learn about the dearth of resources available to people struggling with mental health issues here: http://www.nydailynews.com/opinion/n-y-s-true-mental-health-problem-article-1.1245186

Thirdly, you didn’t ask if I wanted your opinion, but as it turns out, I am not interested in learning to think like you. I like that I believe that no one grows up wanting to ask other people for money on the train. I am proud that I have not become desensitized to the suffering of others. I have worked hard to protect my ability to give people the benefit of the doubt, despite all of the horrible things I’ve seen people do to one another.

I wish you had take a second to consider why you thought I needed your input. I don’t know what about me (my youth, my gender, my race etc.) gave you the impression that I needed your guidance on what to do with my money. I don’t.

I’m not judging you for having a different set of opinions. In fact, I can relate to your suspicions, I was similarly suspicious of people asking for money when I moved to the city. However, as I have learned and grown, I realized my judgement of those in need came from feeling guilty that I had things that they did not. I realized that I was judging because I felt guilty I couldn’t fix the root causes of people’s problems. I am in school now learning how I can turn that guilt into helpful action.

I don’t know why you believe what you believe. In fact, I don’t know if you truly believe it or were just having a bad day and miscommunicated your thoughts. Regardless, I wish you had taken a second to think about whether your input was needed and if it would be useful. I will certainly be more thoughtful about offering unsolicited opinions to others in the future.

Best,

Aditi Juneja