The downside of being friends with me

I’m one of those super excited kids who madly tease their mother to buy them a lollipop and bubblegum is my favourite flavour.

I’ll take you for a road trip for free, the only fee, will be the jokes and anecdotes you will share with me,your chutzpah levelled against my faux pas!

I’ll be the sober driver guy for you, the big bouncer with tiny biceps in bars&pubs, like you are my sister and I’m your friend.

I’ll not invade your phone when the opportunity strikes, but I’m one of those which would throw it out of a car if you aren’t paying attention to my jokes, I know I’m evil.

I’ll be the super hot wing-man for you, clicking your profile picture like an orangutan doing kick flips, introducing you to everyone as a belieber, you getting a fever and I acting like a reliever for the time to come.

I’ll mark your proxy, write your assignments, even inflate the tyres of the most dreaded professor’s car, if you only binge watch Seinfeld with me, because in the end I’m the Kramer to your Jerry.

Elephants tusk and cats paws,making gold from copper, these are the things I love, waffles over sex and poetry over cricket are the things with which I vex.

Friend O Friend, it’s time for an adventure again! :D