Weekend Reflections: Time is Not Money
For the last three years, one of my uncles has taken up the responsibility of coordinating and hosting a family reunion and cookout at his home in Montreal. This weekend, my parents, younger brother and I hopped in the car and made the roughly six hour drive up from New York to spend two and a half days in Montreal.
Like most every trip to Montreal, we stayed at my maternal aunt’s house. She’s my closest and most familiar aunt; she helped raise me for the first four years of my life in Montreal and we would see each other almost every summer after the move to New York whenever we would come back and/or she would come visit. She’s my brother’s godmother. She’s my mom’s closest sibling and best friend. She’s also been a very good friend and sounding board for my dad. It goes without saying that she is very near and dear to each of our hearts — even more so after the untimely passing of her husband roughly a dozen years ago. So anytime we step foot in Montreal, her place will be where we lay our heads.
The other place we are always guaranteed to make a stop while in Montreal is at my paternal uncle’s house — the host of the yearly reunions. He’s one of my father’s oldest and closest siblings and my second closest uncle (between my parents I’ve got eight living blood uncles and three living blood aunts). Growing up, both during my first four years living in Montreal and during my summer visits after moving to New York, I loved going to his house. I spent many days, nights and hours there enjoying his and his wife’s company and having tons of fun with his son (a few years older than me) and twin daughters (a few years younger than me). And whenever they would make their summer trips down to New York, they would most likely be crashing at our place.
This year was the first of the three reunions that did not occur on the same weekend as a wedding. Each of the previous two family cookouts were held the day after the wedding ceremonies of each of his twin daughters. With the guarantee of family coming from both near and far — Montreal, Ottawa, New York, Chicago, Florida and Haiti, among other places — it was a virtual certainty that various parts of the family would be very well represented at each family cookout. Without the anchor of an event as uniquely ceremonious as a wedding, it’s only natural that representation this time around would not be quite as strong.
Amazingly, this year’s event did indeed bring in people from near and far. There was strong representation from family members both domestic and foreign. (Were it not for some unfortunate events and circumstances in extended parts of the family, the numbers would have undoubtedly been stronger). And in true fashion, relatives came together and enjoyed eachother’s company as if not a day had passed since the last time we saw each other. We celebrated and welcomed new additions to the family, both those through birth and through new relationships.
As the cookout was winding down and my parents, brother, aunt and I were set to leave at the end of the might, my uncle came to give us his goodbyes. It was obvious that his heart had been filled with joy at the day’s events. It was also obvious that he was well “hydrated,” as noted by his long extended goodbye speech.
Among the many words he dropped in his long farewell were these (translated from Haitian Creole): “Most people don’t realize how much energy, preparation and money it took to put this together. But honestly, I don’t care if it would’ve cost me a million dollars because you can’t put a price on the value of family and fellowship.”
Those words stuck with me. So often we hear the phrase “time is money” thrown around as justification to work more, grind more, not take that day off or not take that rest period. It’s the spirit of the “paper chase” and the embodiment of the “rat race.”
The thing that very few of us fail to realize for too long is that the chase and the race never end. There’s always another prize to pursue and another colleague to compete with. The deeper thing that even fewer of us fail to realize until it’s too late is that while money can be lost and made again, time can only be lost. Once time is gone, it cannot be recovered; it is a non-renewable resource. And, as with any other precious resource, we should guard it wisely and use it only where and when it is of most value.
This is what my uncle was trying to impart. We should spend our time on those things that are of highest value. Family is of highest value. The people in your family matter and you should mindfully make use of the time you have left with them (Tim Urban at Wait But Why has an illuminating blog post on this, one example being that over 90% of the time with your parents is gone by the time you turn in 18). You will enjoy it and they will be enjoy it. You will feel fulfilled and they will feel grateful. And you will all feel energized and renewed for the road ahead on your respective journeys.
You can always find ways to get more money. You will never find ways to get more time. Make time for what truly matters. Your future self will be eternally grateful.
