The Benefits of Anger for Personal Growth
I have been struggling lately with a lot of built-up anger. I am also dealing with guilt over that anger. I don’t want these two emotions in my life. They make me uncomfortable; they destroy my peace of mind. Yet, I’m having a hard time getting rid of them. No, I don’t want to get rid of them. I want to transform them into something positive. I want to look at the benefits of anger in personal growth, my personal growth.
I am sure that this internal battle with anger and guilt is trying to tell me something. What is the message then? I know where both of them are coming from, yet I don’t seem to be able to move on. Why? I ask myself non-stop.
I read an article that says, “We tend to think of anger as a wild, negative emotion, but research finds that anger also has its positive side.” It is quite an interesting article that helped me be more objective about my present anger.
I decided then to look for the positive side of the anger that I’ve been carrying around lately.
To do that, I have closed myself to the outside world and gone into my inner world. The answer is there, I am sure of it. I decided to look anger in the face and ask it this question: “Why are you here and what do you want to tell me”?
Looking at One of the Benefits of Anger
When I was younger, anger was a good tool to get out of certain situations. If something made me angry, I would turn around and change it. If someone made me angry enough to not want to be around them anymore, I would use that anger, turn around and leave the person behind. I used anger as a driving force to banish the person from my life and move on to more important things.
Let me clarify something: If there was room to resolve the problem, I would take that opportunity and give it a try. But sometimes, people don’t leave room for negotiation or resolution. Those were the instances that angered me the most.
So, when that happened, I would decide that there was no sense in wasting my breath with someone who did not want to find a solution with me. I had more important things to do with my life. I would focus on something different, something that made me happy, and move on without looking back.
Once that was done, I never thought of that person again, or of the situation that had led to my casting them out of my life. What would have been the point after all? Toxic people had no room in my life.
Anger was my guiding force back then: I would turn around, leave, cast the person out of my mind and life, and not rehash the issue ever again. What a mighty benefit!
Can I Apply this in the Present?
Today, I find myself holding on to anger, letting it accumulate, and rehashing issues. It gets to a point that I become depressed. So much accumulated anger overflows and becomes destructive. I find myself turning over the issue in my mind until I go almost crazy, and wishing it was different. But it cannot be different, can it? Same issue, same person, same result…
When I asked my anger today what the message was, the answer came right away: “Your peace of mind, your personal growth.”
Wait, what? If I am angry, how can this be beneficial to my personal growth?
The truth is that, when I was younger, I did not look at the benefits of anger in personal growth. I did not even know they existed! It was impossible for me to think of anger as a beneficial emotion. It had always been described as negative one, after all.
But, my inner self continues: “Go back to the beginning but take this anger now as an insightful guide. Go back to that time when you used your anger to leave behind a problematic person. After all, you know that the person making you angry now won’t change. Don’t lose sight of the main purpose of your anger: to let go of toxic people in your life!”
“Don’t lose sight of the main purpose of your anger: to let go of toxic people in your life!”
And that is the important thing. I can indeed apply this concept today as well.
Turning Back to The Benefits of Anger for Personal Growth
The benefit back then was that, once I turned my back on any given person, I did not hold on to the anger anymore. It was the driving force to leave them behind. It became then quite a simple thing: “Out of sight, out of mind.”
That part doesn’t have to change. It is actually quite beneficial to go back to it.
I have decided then to make use of the benefits of anger for personal growth. I will turn the anger I have felt these past few days into the driving force that will allow me to build a better me. I did it many times before, I can do it again.
Once I do this, the cloud hovering over my head dissipates and I get a clearer view of what I want. My optimism returns, life becomes easier, I can move on.
There is a very important relationship in this life that I do not want to give up: The relationship with myself. Were I to hold on to the anger, and allow it to fester inside of me, I would lose touch with my inner self and destroy that relationship.
Since I don’t wish to lose the most important person in my life to me, I need to turn my back on the toxic person and release the anger.
What About You?
Have you ever found that there are benefits to anger in your life? Have you channeled this anger in positive ways for your personal growth? Share your experiences in the Comments section.
Originally published at www.artisanoflight.com on June 22, 2017.