REACTIONS
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REACTION is one of those words that sometimes gets a bad reputation. Reaction does not mean that you are angry. Reaction does not mean being pissed. Reaction does not mean being hurt. Reaction actually means all of those things. A reaction is an action performed OR a feeling experienced in response to a situation or event. Reaction is a 17th century medieval Latin reactio (done again). Unfortunately, today, our learned behavior is to react emotionally, with no action. Our goal in sharing this piece on reactions is to model for you a new behavior… expressing emotions and performing an action. We want to lead a discussion about re-framing how you react. Take the time to participate in this activity with us and hopefully it impacts you directly.
#ACT (Ask questions, Collaborate, and Tell your story)
#ACT A = ASK QUESTIONS
Martin Luther King
True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar. It comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring […] I often feel like saying, when I hear the question ‘People aren’t ready,’ that it’s like telling a person who is trying to swim, ‘Don’t jump in that water until you learn how to swim.’ When actually you will never learn how to swim until you get in the water.
The only way to learn something you do not know is to ask questions. If you hear of an incident and causes internal questions for you… Find someone you trust (sometimes that person won’t look like you) to ask those questions. Seek to find understanding. The only way our country can learn from its past is to learn from its past. The only we can respect each other as people is if we learn from each other’s experiences. What does it mean to be black and pulled over by the police? What does it mean to be a woman and have to get an abortion? What does it mean to be gay and have to tell your parents? We have to ask the tough questions and listen.
#ACT C = COLLABORATE
Margaret Mead
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.
You do not have to work alone to create change. In fact, it is encouraged that you work with others! When you have a reaction, explore why you are feeling your emotions, define what makes you passionate, and find groups that align with your purpose. Today there are organizations, groups, and forums getting together all over the company. FIND ONE! Get involved. Organizers need you. Bring your talents to the table and it’s not always about physically attending events. Organizers need some of the same talents you bring to work everyday to make their events run smoothly.
#ACT T = TELL YOUR STORY
Malcom X
“A race of people is like an individual man; until it uses its own talent, takes pride in its own history, expresses its own culture, affirms its own selfhood, it can never fulfill itself
Please tell your story. Use your platform wisely. No one can tell you how to use Facebook or any other social media platform you have, however, consider explaining WHY you feel the way you feel. If there are instances where a certain events resonates with a moment in your life, if you can, share the moment. There are people that may have questions (Point 1) and you can answer those questions by sharing your story. Sharing your story pays homage to your authentic self.
As part of our reaction….On the morning of July 7, 2016 IRON pulled together some friends to model #ACT for you. Five contributors were all asked the same question: “What was your reaction to the violence in the last 48 hours? Why?”
We are excited to be able to share the contributors’ thoughts and feelings with you.
Launa’s REACTION
Again?!!? When will this end? Disbelief. Sadness. When I first heard about the Alton Sterling shooting, my thoughts and feelings turned heavy, but in truth, I was somewhat numb to them. Throughout the day, my feelings ebbed and flowed between the dull, dark presence lurking in the shadow and the acute pain of the empty promise of our country that ‘all (wo)men are created equal.’ I am clear that such tempered reactions are the result of a “luxury” afforded those of us who are white — to not have to persistently live in the thick depth of what I have heard from my friends of color describe as constant vigilance, peppered with fear and rage, and to know that the volume gets turned up when events like these happen. While it’s true that I am grateful that this is not the biting reality of my daily existence, the shooting helped remind me, once again, that this “luxury” is really not a luxury at all — that is one of many illusions perpetuated by the system under which we live that demonizes and oppresses some, through no fault of their own, and privileges others, through no merit of their own. This “luxury” represents something that is killing us too, whittling away at our life force, if we take the time and energy to tune into the level on which this is happening. We white folks might only *think* we can escape the impact of what is happening to our innocent brothers and sisters of color on the front line of fire, but we are indeed influenced. We are influenced because we are all connected — energetically…spiritually. Even when we are lost to this truth. This lost-ness, disorientation and lack of positionality, direction and balance is what can be found underneath the veil of this “luxury” and it stems, I believe, from our tendency to be disconnected from our own bodies. This feeling of being disconnected and lost has become such the norm that it has almost ceased to feel like we have a choice in the matter. While I have seen this phenomenon more generally at work in and across the lives of *all* my friends, colleagues and clients, as well as in my own, it is particularly pervasive among my *white* friends, colleagues and clients when it comes to issues of race. But this is not our natural state; it is the result of what we’ve internalized through the process of socialization within certain constructs. We *do* have a choice to interrupt the malaise of our murky feelings, to disrupt the silence of our thinking and to create new paradigms through our action. Despite having been organizing for racial equity in the Northeast when I lived in NYC, and despite the fact that I have been finding my way in the social justice landscape of Dallas — attending events and cultivating some great relationships with others devoted to such issues, I have not been actively organizing since I moved back home to Dallas. I made that decision anew on Tuesday to delve into an even deeper understanding of white supremacy and to work with other white folks to dismantle it.
I believe that more of us white people as a collective will begin to care more about black and brown bodies, the more readily and regularly we are able to be fully in touch with our own white bodies, what messages our bodies have for us, and what comprises our inner landscape. The way I see it, it’s only when we are living down deep in our bodies that we can feel things like the outrage, disgust, grief and anguish that I think are reactions more fitting to these crimes perpetrated against certain citizens of our country. It’s only when we are living deep in our bodies that we can feel the love, compassion, empathy, the joy of true connection, the Unity and Oneness that I see as the answer to this madness, and in that, be moved to do something to change things. It was in this deeper place, with some of these more potent feelings present, that I found myself when finding out about the Philando Castile murder.
My Wednesday morning was off to a good start. My usual morning meditation was brief but effective. Then, an exceptionally wonderful meeting among friends via a Skype video call: a trio of women, we are accountability partners in a powerful program called The Art of Money of which we’re all a part. That morning’s call was particularly heart-opening which set the tone for the day. The rest of my morning and early afternoon unfolded with a call to one of my best friends, a grounding walk in my neighborhood and some productive administrative work for my business. But then things turned…the energy of the rest of my day felt off: time signals were crossed on appointments, technical difficulties on a Skype call, an unproductive webinar that I was doubting I should’ve attended…well, you get the picture. I began to feel a restlessness that I couldn’t shake…something in the environment faintly quaking in the background. I wanted to escape it, but I had spent the day in such deep relationship with my body that tuning the discord out wasn’t an option. Nor did I want it to be. I needed to get something to eat and I needed to move. I got into the car and started driving. A thought flashed through my head of the injustice of the Alton Sterling shooting and that provoked a flood of memory of all those who were taken before he was. The next thing I knew, I was wailing uncontrollably in the car. I started to hyperventilate. I felt like I was being consumed by my rage and disgust and sadness. It was so visceral. My body was having its say, and my heart and mind obeyed. It was later that I realized that this was right around the time that Philando Castile was killed, so I also believe my body was tapping into that energy field before my mind actually knew that another shooting had taken place. I’ve experienced things like this many times before, especially in my work as an energy healer, so I know it to be possible. The thing is, I think our bodies *always* know, but we are often (as I was writing about above) tuned out, numbed out and asleep to the reality unfolding right under our very noses. I came home, made dinner and scrolled through Facebook. One quick glance at a blurry still of a man with blood on his shirt and I knew. My reaction reminded me of that awful morning of 9/11 when I opened to my AOL home page to check email, and I saw a picture of the first tower being hit. While my mind wanted to spin a story of disbelief that what I was seeing was some sort of joke or mistake, my body did not betray me as it was shaken to the core. Without reading the headline, I knew what this picture was…I knew this wasn’t a new picture of Alton Sterling…I knew this was someone else. Yet another senseless death of an American citizen.
In the wake of these latest shootings, I am also feeling determined and committed. As I mentioned, I’m moved afresh to gather with my white friends and colleagues to call each other in. We need to be doing more than we’re currently doing to dismantle the white supremacy that’s at the hub of this loathsome arrangement of systemic racism. We can and we must and we will. Our collective humanity depends on it.
PJ’s REACTION
I think what hurts the most is that as a little Black boy growing up in the South I was always told, if you: get an education, wear your clothes to the “proper” fit, articulate yourself well, be goal oriented, poised, and respectful to authority figures, you wouldn’t have to go through the same things the other little Black boys who grew up in the projects with you went through. And so I did. I spent more than three quarters of my life bending and shape shifting into the mold of the “exceptional Black man.” Only to grow older and realize that in my pursuit for acceptance and appear “less scary” I had lost much of my cultural identity and neutralized my ability to cultivate my organic identities. Then to grow conscious and realize that no matter what edges I shaved to fit the mold, my skin is still just that of a gingerbread that could never be a sugar cookie and for that I am and will be a living target until my life is summed up in the trending topic of a hashtag. I have been deceived, and there’s no way to get any of that time back. Where do I go from here?
George’s REACTION
I’m never prepared to hear the news of another Black person gunned down by police, let alone two in a matter of two days. My reaction is never one of shock. Extrajudicial killings of Black people at the hands of police is part of the fabric of America. But terrorism is something that one never grows accustomed to.
I stared at the headlines when I heard the news. I refused, as I always refuse, to watch the videos. Black Death as a spectacle is not something I want to view any more than my father wanted to view Black bodies swinging from trees in Tennessee.
The feelings of dread that I have when I hear of these slayings are compounded by a feeling of upcoming fatigue. Part of the terrorism is the explaining the fight to control the narrative so that truth wins. Like clockwork, a Black person dies and, in addition to their bodies, their character is assassinated. Monstrous imagery of an uncontrollable Black threat is conjured up in contrast to the media’s framing of the shooter’s innocence. The victim, no matter the situation, is always depicted as deserving to be killed — despite the fact that they are often executed for minor traffic charges or what was once referred to as vagrancy — and the cop is painted in a light that shows him to valiant officer of the state, an integral piece of an American institution who simply faltered in the presence of a looming threat.
Part of the terrorism is the misrepresentation of facts that create a culture which breeds more anti-blackness and sentiments which allow officers of the law to be beyond reproach. As a Black person, I am always perceived to be inherently criminal. I am always forced to assert my humanity and worthiness to survive even though the state has killed my people for generations.
We get tired. We get tired of fighting back, typically with no allies. The phrase “Black lives matter” in itself exists as a plea, a demand, and a reminder to a society which never intended for our lives to matter. We were meant to be chattel or we were meant to be displaced or disposed of. So, when we shout and rally on behalf of our fallen people, part of us are reminding ourselves that we matter in a society which consistently reminds us that we don’t. That’s exhausting. That’s traumatizing.
When the Dallas shootings occurred, I knew the direction the narrative would be steered. When cops die, Black people as a whole — especially our political movements — are blamed. We are robbed of our individuality. When a Black person is murdered by the police, whitefolks are not collectively blamed by society, even though we know that racism and white supremacy are the basis for these killings. America, meaning white America, is never on trial for our murders. However, Black people are always blamed for the violence.
We are always held responsible for American racial unrest. We are taught that we bring the violence upon ourselves. And we are taught that we must carry the burden of being more loving, being more forgiving, and teaching our white allies how to understand is when they do not do the work. So, in addition to the anger and grief, we are tired. The violence leveed against us is cyclical and has been in motion for generations. We’ve always had to argue that we are human, and we’ve always been charged to do the bulk of the work to improve our condition.
I’ve been harassed by police and any of these encounters could have led to my death. The next time, I will wonder if it’s my time. What’s next? How many more of us have to fie? We endure because, just as the violence is present, so is our will to survive, our love for ourselves, our respect for this planet, and our fight against a system which is always threatens to keep us tired.
Pollo’s REACTION
Facebook was the vehicle that delivered the horrific news of what happened to Alton Sterling. I remember opening up the app on my phone and seeing comments that ranged from hate to heartache. I clicked on an article linked to the video and to my disgust a banner reading “Graphic Content” scrolled on the black screen. I gulped and hit play. My initial reaction upon seeing the gruesomely graphic video: pain, grief and heartache. An overall sense of dizziness that was spawned by the horrific pain that I woke up to, not only that day but that I have woken up to, way too often.
I felt like the human race stepped into a time machine and had gone back hundreds of years.
While still processing the emotions of the prior day, once again I woke up to hear about another shooting. This time it was Philando Castile. Immediate numbness and disbelief. I remember thinking, “This can’t be real!” Thoughts raced through my mind such as, “How’s the young girl who was in the backseat?” and “Could I, in that situation hold my composure?” And “How are my black friends feeling?” So many involved; they are affected, deeply and tragically forever.
I’m angry. Outraged at what is happening way too often. It seems that lives seem to hold little or no value, disgusted at the fact that this happening in America and fear of what these events really point to. Please don’t zoom over that last point too quickly. I contend that we must ask — what’s behind and beneath these events? I don’t have the answer, however I would contend that its deeply rooted and not just superficial.
It almost seems like the seeds (of fear, bias, hate etc.) that have been planted for many years are now producing a harvest of discord. This harvest is bitter. This harvest is causing pain. This harvest must be uprooted, forgotten and trampled upon. The very fabric of our lives is being torn by bullets, stained with blood and has frayed a wide gap among people. And so, it is now time; time to begin to plant seeds of love that will undoubtedly produce the harvest that we all deeply yearn for: unity, joy and acceptance.
Perhaps there is too much of me and too little of you. As I sit in the ashes of everything that occurred this last week, including Thursday night’s ambush on Dallas Police — I consider the state of my own heart. I look in the mirror and in a sobering manner realize that I am not too far away from making a horrible mistake as well. I could very well be an officer pulling the trigger when perhaps I should not and I could as well be a sniper pulling the trigger of a high-powered rifle. We seldom (or better yet, never) see monsters with fangs perpetrating pain in our communities. We see people, like you and like me. Their hearts got to a dark place where the thoughts grew a root that then produced the fruit of actions that were carried out. I must start with myself and ask, “How’s my heart?” The answer, not immune from causing pain. Not better than anybody else’s — vulnerable and susceptible.
I would contend that the solution is a heart transplant. Not a literal one but a spiritual one. In the ashes of pain, I sit and remember how irrevocably well-loved I am by my Creator. I run away and His love remains. I doubt, He is patient. I fear, He embraces me. I reject, He lovingly pursues me. And perhaps that is the answer: the thought of being loved unconditionally sends a ping to my heart and provides the fuel for me to be able to say, “less of me” and “more of you”… my neighbor. My different colored skin neighbor. My different religion neighbor. My different political party neighbor. My different socioeconomic neighbor. My different education level neighbor. My different sexual orientation neighbor. My female neighbor. My male neighbor.
Less hate. Less of me. More of you. Less biases. Less of me. More of you.
Less of me. More of you… neighbor.
#liveLOVE
Bev’s REACTION
I started writing this blog post about the senseless killings of Alton Sterling and Philando Castille before the horrific killing of police officers Michael Smith, Michael Krol, Patrick Zamarripa, Brent Thompson and Lorne Ahrens in Dallas. I erased what I initially wrote and started again. Being a part of the solution versus the problem is always my desired goal.
As I reflected on how I really felt when I heard Thursday morning that yet another black man was killed overnight when it just happened again the day before, It was a combination of utter despair, anger, lack of hope and just being numb. Race has been such an undercurrent for so long in the American story that many believe that we can’t fix it. Then the shooting of the police officers happened last night. The common thread is that all these men were killed and would not be returning home to the families and friends that loved them. That is true of Alton, Philando and the police officers that were all going about their normal lives and are now mourned by those left behind. What will it take for people of all races to come together, not in judgment and blame, but in love and compassion, to identify the root causes of the ongoing problems that have or will affect every one of us? Who is so naïve as to believe that we can ignore the deep divisions in our society about race and think it will go away if we continue to ignore it and pretend it does not exists. I am weary of those that resort to labeling anything and anyone that are different from them or that have different opinions than theirs as the enemy and the “problem”. We need to protect our psyche from the assault of negative social media poison that too often offers nothing but venom for the “other” or “those people”.
What could be accomplished if we decided to seek first to understand before being understood as Stephen Covey suggested in his book entitled Seven Habits of Highly Effective People? As a business and leadership coach, I believe in the both/and approach to most situations. That means that I can both abhor the continuing killing of black men and women by some police officers and also be enraged by the senseless killing of innocent police officers by a sniper that judged the many by the few which usually leads to misguided actions and accomplishes nothing but dying in infamy instead the fame and martyrdom that they sought. I choose to reject the initial despair and hopelessness I felt. I choose to redirect my anger towards joining forces with the many good people that want to solve the racial divide that robs families, friends, communities and our world of people that are gone too soon for the wrong reasons. We must be careful with our choices because we will be required to live with the outcome of choosing to accept violence as the “new normal” and offering prayers and good thoughts every time senseless violence occurs. Are we really willing to live that way? I am not and hope most others feel the same way I do. The time for action is now.
I reacted, as I did because it just keeps happening and I understand that it could easily be my son, my husband, my nephew etc. It is only the grace of God that it has not happened to me or mine so far. My time and yours could be the next “accidental” shooting that is the result of a split second decision made by a police officer. It is also true that if we don’t address our racial issues, senseless violence can occur against more innocent people just doing their jobs and we again will offer condolences and prayer and then go back to our lives until it comes knocking on our door. I don’t want to wait for that to happen. We should ask ourselves, what will it take for us to say enough is enough and take action?
Contributors
P.J. Moton, LMSW is a 2013 graduate of Washington University’s George Warren Brown School of Social Work in St. Louis, MO where he earned his Master of Social Work degree with a concentration in Children, Youth, and Families. PJ is also a 2011 graduate of Fisk University in Nashville, TN where he earned Bachelor of Arts degrees in Psychology and Sociology. With 7 strong years in the field of HIV/AIDS research, prevention, and care, specifically focusing on Black MSM, PJ has become recognized as a leader among the millennial generation of game changers with regards to the epidemic. PJ currently serves as Interim Programs Manager for Abounding Prosperity, Inc. in Dallas, TX where he continues his work in program design, management, and research.
Launa Kliever is a coach, energy healer, educator and organizer with over fifteen years of experience facilitating radical self-care programs for individuals and small groups, and twenty-plus years working in and with service-focused companies and organizations. She received her MSW from Columbia School of Social Work in New York City, where she also served on faculty. Currently, Launa helps executives, change-makers, and social entrepreneurs lead from a place of greater freedom within themselves and create cultures of energetic integrity and spiritual health within their organizations and collectives. She is based in Dallas, Texas and can be reached via email at social.healing@gmail.com, or through her website at www.launakliever.com.
George Dowdy is not your daddy’s literary artist. George is a Brooklyn based iction writer, pop culture junkie, and champion for social justice. George studied music composition the Rudi E. Scheidt School of Music at the University of Memphis under the tutelage of notable composers Kamran Ince and John Baur.George studied music composition at the Rudi E. Scheidt School of Music under the tutelage of notable composers Kamran Ince and John Baur. George’s largest music work, “The Creation: A Negro Sermon for Five Voices,” premiered at African American Lectionary Forum on Culture, Worship, and Preaching at the Kelly Miller Smith Institute on Black Church Studies at Vanderbilt Divinity School. George eventually ventured into the literary spectrum and has written several short stories as well as a forthcoming novel “Let it All Change”.
Pollo Corral is the founder of LOVE in motion, which is not a porn site, but a church that is perhaps unlike traditional church. LOVE in motion loves the city and does continuous outreach projects with the Dallas Independent School District and the Dallas Police Department. He believes that putting other before self can change everything. Pollo’s been married for 13 years to a girl he dated only for a few months. His family, which includes two kids live in Uptown.
Beverley (Bev) Wright is the Founder and CEO of Wright Choice Group Talent Management, Bev is a storyteller, a motivator, a certified coach and a mentor, with just a hint of drill sergeant, to boost her clients and her audiences to higher levels of success. Beverley’s over 30 years of experience working for IBM in diverse business areas provides a rich background for guiding, addressing, and coaching business professionals. She is also chair of Dallas Dinner Table whose mission is: To achieve an America without racism, one meal at a time.
Adrian Killebrew is the Founder and Executive Director of IRON. IRON (Initiating Relationships to Organize New Beginnings) exist to provide recently relocated African Americans to the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex a sense of community through development programs, road maps to civic/community organizations, and connections to seasoned professionals. Adrian is a native of Memphis, Tennessee where he received his Bachelors degree from Rhodes College, and Masters in Business Administration from Union University. He is currently pursuing a Doctorate in Management from the University of Phoenix.