I took my latest selfie because I desperately needed an online profile to better match my internal experience. So one night in my cold duplex, nose stuffy from a lingering cold and hair messy after a long day, I sat on the floor in my dimly lit hallway to snap this selfie. Then I wrote the following caption, another entry in my #notesformymemoir series on Instagram.
BREAKDOWN // I’m becoming more comfortable with my mess. The bruises beneath my eyes deepen, darken, but I am grateful for their honesty. I no longer try to hide the tears when they come. I am in great need, but I always have been. This world breaks us all, one way or another, and sometimes we break ourselves. Why has it taken me this long to come to terms with my fragility? I’ve uncovered an unexpected peace in the realization of my helplessness. I was never meant to go it alone. // “The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.” Psalm 103:13–14 #notesformymemoir