This is NOT the best writing advice EVER!

How long have I been a writer?

Four months.

Have I ever published what I’ve written?

Yes, if you count two books published on serialised apps, I never want to be reminded of.

Do you want the story behind my dark past? Of course, you do. Everybody loves anything entertaining. Especially when it makes the other person cringe and curl into a ball.

I’ll give you what you want. Though not today. Still need to hide the embarrassing parts of myself from you guys. There are only so many layers of an onion that make me.

Moving on…

The WORST writing advice I’ve ever gotten: LISTEN AND EMULATE REAL LIFE DIALOGUE. It’s so cliche; I’m sure everyone who has stumbled onto this post has heard it.

And why?

Because real-life dialogue sucks. Also, if you’re writing fantasy, I doubt there’s anyone out there actually saying things people in fantasy would.

I mean, how would you know how they talk?

Photo by Jessica Da Rosa on Unsplash

Real-life dialogue is meaningless. More often than not, it has names of people you’re talking to. Personally, I always find a way to insert the name of the person I’m talking to every time I open my mouth to speak with them. Also, sometimes I forget what I want to say and end up saying something meaningless before getting back to the real meat of the conversation.

How many people do this? A lot more than you’d imagine. If they do, why do authors say listen and emulate real-life dialogues anyway?

I don’t know.

So, if this isn’t the best writing advice, what is?

Well, what is?

I don’t know.

Stop bothering me; I’m making these things up as I go. But personally — this is a personal journey for most of us. I’ve realised the best advice for me is: don’t pay attention to any writing advice that can be broken.

Write about what you know? LOL! In a time when everyone can research? No one needs to be a blacksmith to write about forging. Also, I’m sure none of these paranormal or fantasy writers has lived in that period.

Don’t start a sentence with And, But,… that’s for high school English. Not fiction. (See what I did there? I’m a comedian!) And many others.

What writing advice have you given or heard? Any hilarious exchanges you want to share? I’d love to hear.