Women of Notes: Now with More Men!
Last night I went on a date night with a friend to go see The New York Pops at Carnegie Hall. We even had some dinner and drinks nearby beforehand. It was a very New York Adult thing to do. The last couple of times I’ve been to Carnegie Hall have been at no cost to me. I’m very fortunate that I can enjoy amazing performances for free, which means I’m usually more likely to spend my money on food and drinks. But after weeks of being reminded how awful men are in just about every industry, I was thrilled to celebrate women in the arts when the opportunity arose.
On Thursday, I received a message from a fellow female friend: “want to go to carnegie hall with me tomorrow night to hear female pop and broadway stars? tickets start at $21” I didn’t have any solid plans and I figured an evening of women was just what I needed. Plus I’d just bought tickets to see another friend in Stuffed for Saturday, so I was feeling like a real patron of the arts! Unfortunately, the ticket prices grew and we ended up paying about double what we’d originally hoped to, but still very affordable for the awesome and world-renowned Carnegie Hall.
I couldn’t remember what time the show was, plus I really didn’t know what it even was so I decided to look it up while we were making dinner plans. Turns out it was The New York Pops, Women of Notes: In Dedication to Female Composers and Lyricists with Guest Artists Adam Kantor and Betsy Wolfe. I saw the pictures of the guest artists (above) and assumed it meant these two were hosting the show and the rest of the Special Guests would be doing most of the performing: Sara Bareillis, Ingrid Michaelson, Georgia Stitt, and Shaina Tuab. It was, after all, a show to celebrate women in music…or so we thought.
We climbed up the many flights of stairs to our seats and when we got settled we began to scan our Playbills. The first thing we noticed was the list of songs — great selection! Hmm…wait, who’s this Adam Kantor person? Neither of us really knew. Why was he singing so many songs though? His name is listed under 9 of 19 songs. Did he put this show together? What was this? A case of white male “ally” is going to lift women up by stealing the spotlight?
Yes.
We’d paid money to be there. We were excited about the Pops, about the women who were there, and especially about Sara Bareillis, which we could now see wouldn’t appear until the very last song — which is no surprise, you want to close out the show with a showstopper, because otherwise it’s awkward when people leave before the show is over. And we didn’t know this man. Perhaps he would blow us away with his talent. This was, after all, Carnegie Hall. And the assumption is that one must have major talent to play in this major venue — especially for more than just a song or two.
The lights dimmed and the show began. The New York Pops took off with the overture from Once Upon a Mattress, music by Mary Rogers. Music Director and Conductor, Steven Reineke, introduced the show to us and it’s theme of celebrating these female composers and lyricists, which he mentioned was something that we really needed to do right now. Yes, we all clapped, indeed we do. He brought out Betsy Wolfe to sing Shy, from Once Upon a Mattress. Betsy is currently starring in the Broadway production of Waitress, which is an all-female led creative team. She’s a great performer with a strong voice, and Shy is a fun song, but it set a tone for a show of aiming far beyond ability. I enjoyed Betsy’s rendition, but she doesn’t even come close to Carol Burnett. When Betsy left the stage, it was now time to bring this mystery man on to the stage.
Steven introduced Adam and the next number, from On The Town. My body begins to tense up as this show, which had recently (for mysterious reasons) been revived on Broadway without much updating. While iconic, it is a pretty outdated show. When it first opened on Broadway, in 1944, it was progressive for it’s time as it didn’t play up racial stereotypes and included a rather diverse cast. And while the women aren’t all ingenues, there is still plenty of sexism and heteronormativity for a 21st century production. The plot of the show is this: three male sailors are out “on the town” in NYC, looking for women. That’s it. But that’s not even the show I want to complain about right now. The point is that Adam’s first number in a show celebrating women is about being upset with the fact the women in New York City are not as easy as the ones he’s used to and he’s sad about it. Boo hoo. Maybe this is where the whole idea of this show came from? An attempt to get the two top-billed men laid?
Now, if it comes off to you that I don’t think men should be involved in a show of this nature, you’re only partially correct. Men can be allies. Men can support women, by lifting them up and showing off their greatness. Men can produce a show with music written by women. Men can even co-host that show, and maybe sing a number or two in a duet with a woman, I guess. BUT for a man to sing a song about being a lonely man (yes, I know there was a woman on the writing team of this song…in 1944) in a show that’s about women? He’s got some serious gravitas…especially when the man starts singing off-key out of the gate.
Look, dude, if you’re going to steal our thunder…and our opportunities to perform in Carnegie Hall (OK, not MY opportunity, because I am not a singer, but the royal female we), then you have some nerve not being at the top of your game. Like, I NEED you to set off fire alarms with the power of your instrument. But, as soon as he opened his mouth and let the wrong notes fly out, the head-shaking began. I turned to my friend and commented on his over-inflated confidence based solely on the fact that he’s an OK white man in this world, where that gives you a leg up. So glad that we’re combating the abuse of male power with more abuses of male power.
The next song brought Betsy back on stage in a new dress, which I only comment on because they did so. Every single time. It wasn’t really a funny a bit when Anne Hathaway did it at the Oscars in 2011, and it was pretty lame last night. It’s Carnegie Hall, we would all change our dress as many times as we could — why not? Nobody cares. We don’t need to make a thing about it. But this all went into the poor scripting of the whole show. As a writer/actor myself, I would never say that actors should never write their own things. BUT, some of them should not…and this was one of those cases. Oy. Please leave the comedy to the comedians. This painful minute or two of “banter” between the two guest artists set us up for yet ANOTHER song from On The Town, Carried Away. And in case we were to think that the first performance was a fluke and the man does actually posses talent, presence, and voice, it wasn’t. Adam’s just not that good. I tell my friend I’m just going to try to appreciate the Pops, because they’re THE NEW YORK POPS, damnit!
Luckily we got a relief from Adam for the next song, which was a beautiful rendition of Never Never Land from Peter Pan by Betsy. Despite the awkward dedication to a friend’s son prior to the song, it was definitely a highlight of the show.
Now, I don’t know if someone’s told Adam that he’s like the Frank Sinatra of 2017, but he was bold enough to rejoin Betsy on stage for another song that Old Blue Eyes sang — The Best is Yet to Come. And boy did he not nail it. And boy did I try again to tune him out. “Frank’s definitely rolling in his grave right now.”
The New York Pops took over for a gorgeous arrangement of I Will Always Love You, which Steven very condescendingly reminded us was written by Dolly Parton. “Most people don’t know that she writes many of her songs.” “What?” I asked my friend. “Do people who are here at Carnegie Hall, to see this show of female composers and lyricist not know that?” More head shaking. Yeah, that doesn’t check out, sorry.
But, in case you’re not keeping track, it’s time to bring Adam back! So far, he’s managed to really disappoint us with his songs written for men. So, why not try a song that was originally sung by women? Steven gives us praise for Carole King who wrote the next number: Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? And reminds everyone, in keeping with the theme, that it was originally recorded by The Shirelles, in 1960 and became the first song by an all-female — not to mention all-black — singing group to hit the top of the Billboard 100. So, naturally, after a lazy shout out to his mother, Adam proceeded to assault a genderless love song, which should only ever be tackled by those who are capable of emoting and/or singing well.
We were finally treated to our first special guest, as Ingrid Michaelson joined Betsy onstage to sing her song, Miss America. My friend and I turned to each other and begged no one but the air to keep her on stage and never return Adam, please. But, we knew these were pipe dreams.
When Adam returned, he brought Georgia Stitt to the piano to play a song that she wrote adapting Shakespeare’s Sonnet 29. To our surprise and delight, Adam was actually able to pull this one off. Not, like Titus Burgess pull-it-off, but it wasn’t off-key, and Georgia was clearly able to adapt it to his style of noise-making. It made clear to us that Adam is a mediocre actor who’s taken enough singing lessons to be able to pull off some modern adapted shows, that cater to this type of voice, that’s not much of a voice, but can be disguised by other things like beautiful costumes, set designs, and choreography, which are rampant in most Broadway productions. We now have a full picture.
Before going into the intermission, Betsy sang Back to Before from Ragtime so that we could take our break on a positive note.
After the intermission, it was more of the same another solo by Adam led us into another duet, followed by another solo by Betsy, before Adam brought out Shaina Taub who composed and played the only other song that he was able to pull off — but not even as well as the Georgia Stitt song. However, in case we should feel like he finally found his place and would remain there…he added another stain to the carpet. During the intermission I re-checked the program, as I’d remembered that I saw Tracy Chapman’s name in the list of composers/lyricists and I felt nervous that it would be disgraced. Sure enough, there was Adam’s name, sitting like a punishment, under Fast Car. Yes, this time a song that was not only sung by a black woman, BUT written by that same black woman would be spit out of the mouth of this entitled white boy. If I seem especially aggressive about this, it’s because, this is one of my all-time favorite songs, and he doesn’t deserve to be singing it anywhere, least of all Carnegie Hall!
The one silver lining to this song was that it meant the rest of the show was Adam free! We’d come so far on this night, and patiently waited for Betsy to truly show off her skills performing the hit song She Used to Be Mine, from Waitress. And she really did. It was an excellent performance of it and I’m sure that she puts on one hell of a show in that role. As great as it was, let’s be honest, we were REALLY waiting for the final number, which was a duet with Betsy and Sara Bareillis, of her song Chasing the Sun. It’s a rather obscure song of hers, and there’s NO need for it to be a duet — especially with someone who’s not on the same level as Sara. But, Sara’s voice is magic, so I was happy to have her close the show…except that she didn’t because there was an encore.
Of course, the encore was given to us by Betsy and Adam. And none of us were prepared for what it was. As if they wanted us to be very sure that they are not much for leaving well enough alone, or ending on a high note, they tried very hard to sing Ain’t No Mountain High Enough. But, as most normal humans can recognize, this classic that was originally sung by Tammi Terrell and MARVIN GAYE and then by QUEEN DIANA motherfucking ROSS, there are maybe 5–10 white people who have enough soul to be able to pull this song off. And if you haven’t guessed by now, Betsy and Adam are definitely not in that group.
All in all, I would love to see The New York Pops again some day. I think Steven Reineke is something of a dick, and I imagine he’s very much to blame for this absurd display of white men failing to make space for the women they claim to be honoring. And I can’t imagine putting together such a show that highlights composers of colors, but not singers of color. Those are failings that I certainly wouldn’t hold against the pops themselves. But holy shit is it frustrating to come through weeks and weeks and months and years of White Male Mediocrity rubbing their success in your face as you hustle your ass off just for a stranger to re-tweet you.
I’m not a singer, but I come from a family of extremely talented singers, who’ve made it very hard for me to be able to tolerate anything less than greatness. After all, the last time I was at Carnegie Hall, it was to see my mother perform. And while you may think I’m biased, Woman Around Town said “To my mind, this evening’s highlight was veteran Marta Sanders” of that performance.
A the end of the day, the real disappointment was just how close to home this show hit. First of all, if you’re an artist of any sort — you need to know your skill set and if you want to shine in your best light, don’t take on beasts that are just out of your league. If your friends and circle of support are not warning you to stay away from these songs, then you need a new circle. If they are and you’re ignoring them, then stop. Stop ignoring your friends. There’s a reason we need them in our lives — to keep us from doing stupid things.
If you’re a white man who wants to be an ally and raise women up, please, please, please do not make yourself or any other man the star or even the co-star of the show! If this is your inclination, ask yourself why. Why are you doing this? Is there another way to do this? Can you be the host of the show without also singing 10 out of 20 songs?
And finally, if you are in a position of privilege, don’t use material that was created by and for those who do not enjoy that same privilege.
Adam Kantor, you are now on my shitlist. And while that may mean nothing to you now, perhaps one day it will.
I did not enjoy being mancrooned at, but I enjoyed my evening hanging out with my friend and I will not let you take that away from me.
I am not a music critic, just an artistic feminist who’s sick of the bullshit. Thanks for reading, please clap and share.
