Confessions of a “Cold” Woman
Elizabeth Spiers

As I read I couldn’t help outright amazement. Because you see, I’m a tall black guy who grew up in the inner city in the late 60's and early 70's. As such? I should play basketball; sing (or play a musical instrument perhaps); try desperately to change my facial expression to something “less hostile or menacing”; vote democratic; unwaveringly support Barack Obama; attend a baptist church; etc etc.

But you know what? It’s not personal (from one INTJ to another). In fact? The degree to which such attitudes are held, displayed, expressed? Is inversely proportionate to the amount said holder, displayer, or expresser should command of your attention.

Here’s where it counts:

When I’m stopped, on average, 12 — 18 times per year while driving? Not for speeding, or illegal left turns, or even changing lanes without a signal. Nope. The last time was because the light was out over my license plate. And I was detained for forty five minutes or so by eventually four officers while we discussed whether or not I would allow them access to my trunk.

The point? It only counts when it has a material effect. When my son, all 6 foot 2 290 pounds of him was stopped and frisked several times a week on the streets of New York City. That’s when it counts.

As my grandfather told me: we’re not going to legislate our way into everyone liking us, accepting us for who we are, embracing diversity, or being happy about us living next door. Those who respond as such? Actually do you a favor. You can choose to engage or simply move on knowing you haven’t wasted your time.

The performance review where you are evaluated by how much you smile or who you greet in the morning?

Well now, that’s another matter.

As to the rest? As it says (more or less) in the Bible: knock the dust from your sandals (or flip flops as the case may be) and keep steppin’ honey. Keep steppin’

In case you can’t tell I really enjoyed your piece!

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