Tackling Existential Crisis head on!

Acknowledging Maya (Illusion), and internalizing into the infinity that I am

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

The Infinite Nature of Existence

When I try to visualize infinity, the most accurate way in which my human mind is able to comprehend it is the feeling of continuous rise or fall, like I’m inside the Mandelbrot Set.

These visualizations (like the ones used in Windows Media Player or Winamp) are the representation of how at each point on the Complex Plane, a complex function of that value either converges or diverges. Depending on the bounds of the algorithm, for example, convergent post “m” number of iterations, the colors are defined, and that creates such beautiful visualizations, which is a never ending picture.

For more information on how to compute the Mandelbrot Set, please check out the video by Numberphile.

This is purely a visual sense of the infinity. There are, however, multiple senses (Hearing, Taste, Smell, Touch, Love, Logic, etc.). Imagine the kind of experiences they’d provide, if explored in such a realistic sense.

Statistically speaking, it is highly likely that the spectrum of senses is not limited to a finite number, but every single moment, through awareness (both of the self and the surroundings), we feel connected to much more than just the basic senses acknowledged by traditional science. Theoretically, if we are able to accurately understand the rules of the senses, we can truly understand the complete meaning of any entity’s existence. This is a significant result of Chaos Theory in Mathematics.

Every single attribute or sense using which a human quantifies his/her/their experience is a continuous Bayesian Normal Distribution, as all the quantities are bound to follow the Law of Large Numbers.

However, to understand the meaning, one has the limited sense of “logic” to encapsulate the complete meaning, which is impossible due to the infinite nature of existence.

Acknowledging I am part of an infinity feels comforting, and terrifying at the same time.

I am the universe, and so is everyone else! We are all one.

Where do I, or everything in a non-dual sense exist?

The “reality” consists of infinite real and imaginary numbers, and this is where the best possible projection of “Us” probably exists. We (in a truer sense, the projection that we call as our Human Body) reside in multi-dimensional complex planes mushed together to form n-dimensional space. And the value of this “n” tends to infinity.

If I talk specifically about the n-Dimensional Complex Plane that we reside on, at certain Probabilities and respective representation on the Complex Plane, functions either converge, leading to creation, or diverge, leading to incomprehensibility.

When principles of Convergence and Divergence is combined with the human understanding of Chaos Theory, one of the most fruitful directions of human thought could be achieved.

Then how to explain the self in a non-dual reality?

In Mathematics, there are concepts of Countable and Uncountable Infinity. To give a brief example:

Countable infinity: The integer line 1,2,3,4,5,6, and so on is infinite, but each of the number can be counted by us. Consider such numbers as the children of convergent sets, and we all recognize their existence in our basic understanding of the world.

Uncountable infinity: Can one answer the question, how many numbers are there between 0 and 1? No. Because this is the case of uncountable infinity. These sets can be classified as convergent and divergent in nature.

Every number, real or imaginary, that has been thought of till today, is within our realm of understanding, and is convergent. All else is divergent to the Human Understanding.

The teachings within the religions of the world, for example, the Vedantic teachings in Hinduism, Wahdat-Al-Wujud in Islam, or Henosis in Christianity, all reveal the knowledge of “Non-duality”. The Monotheistic religions in the world admit a transitory universe, which has no existence as a contingent creation, apart from God.

People who follow the path of atheism do not believe in any higher being, and are right in their own way. There is no higher being. The universe itself is the higher being.

As a student of Science and Mathematics, although I do not consider “God” to be a conceivable being, however, I do believe in God since there is such a concept of within the human realm, which makes it as real as you and I.

How can God be real?

I believe objects (living and non-living), thoughts, and dreams, all are equally real. Unless you know it is all in your head, it is as real as reality itself.

Since we cannot deny the existence either, we cannot prove or disprove whether they are real or not. In fact, dreams have the potential to motivate you, depress you, or scare you. Then how can it not be real to us? It is just as scary, or just as intriguing as the reality.

Similarly, I believe true death only takes place if you are completely annihilated from the universe, which is not possible according to the Third Law of Thermodynamics, which is, “Energy can neither be created, nor destroyed”. Therefore, as per our present understanding of physics, nobody is ever really dead. The only thing that’s changed is the form in which they exist.

The whole system, when collectively compiled into a single entity, is God.

From an individualistic perspective, what’s the point of it all then?

Nothing!

When there’s no point, why is there a universe, instead of Nothingness?

Because Infinity and Zero are both equally incomprehensible, you can’t really say which one of them is the Universe. It can be either, or none, or both.

Therefore, everything is an illusion. It is nothing, and everything at the same time.

How to implement non-duality in real life?

Alright! We’ve established the illusory nature of things, but it’s not going to stop our Boss from yelling at us tomorrow morning, or change our parents in a way that they stop worrying for you, or stop people from judging other people.

Because we can’t conceive the infinity, we tend to see things in a biased, opinionated way. I’m writing this article and expressing my biases and opinions, and nothing I say is the truth. Nobody knows, or will know the truth ever.

Following are the key things that are helping me dilute the illusion, and to look at things as they are and not in an opinionated way.

1. Meditation: The misconception of “No thoughts! Concentrate!” has made meditation a very misunderstood concept. What it really means is, being in the present, and observing feelings, both physical and emotional without explicitly acting on them. A useful way to meditate is to use an “Anchor”. Most commonly, people use their breath as their anchor, but you can build your own anchor and practice meditation. For example, when I’m in a lecture, I use the voice of the Professor as the anchor. Whenever my mind wanders, I use the voice to bring myself back. Similarly, at work, you can use your laptop screen as your anchor. This way you can do meditation anywhere, anytime. The benefits of meditation is a well researched area, however, the only thing that I can tell you is, it has greatly helped me in building up my concentration.
2. Mind is a monkey: Our mind is constantly chattering, and it makes us do things that we would not really do. The way to tame the monkey mind is to make friends with it, and asking it to observe things. Eventually, it will stop chattering, and giving opinions about things. Once you reach that stage, you would feel much more calm, and in the moment. (Reference: Eastern Philosophy)
3. Judgement: One needs to understand that everyone’s reality is not the same. People have different experiences, thoughts, belief systems, and circumstances. So, judging anyone is nothing but your monkey mind chattering. It is not real.
4. Expectations: You cannot speculate the future. Moreover, each individual’s personality and reward functions are dynamic in nature. They may or may not value the same things, and their value of things may depreciate or improve over time. Nobody can tell what’s going to happen. Surrender to the present, keep working hard, and do not expect anything.
5. Love: At the scale of the universe, it does not matter what you do. So the only thing you can do that can help the universe in any way is, love everyone unconditionally. However, don’t feel bad if they don’t love you back, because the only thing that you can control is your own will.
6. Try: Whenever you get a feeling that mindfulness is really difficult to achieve in day-to-day life, understand that the only thing we can do is try. This whole life is a trial-and-error, with each day being the new iteration. Try things out, if you like something keep doing it, and if you don’t like something, don’t do it. However, never run after perfection, as we all have different benchmarks of what perfect means. Everything is perfect, and imperfect at the same time.

What’s reality then?

These are my key hypotheses on the nature of reality, and how we can choose to deal with it:

1. Everything and everyone is infinite, so you one either externalize or internalise at any moment in time. However, acknowledging the infinite nature of existence of oneself and everything around them is necessary at every moment.
2. Death must not be the end of existence, because of the infinite nature of existence.
3. Everything is an illusion, and the only thing that are conceivable through the magic of senses are the functions that converge on the planes that we humans can perceive. There are many more functions at play, which are not visible, so don’t beat yourself up if things don’t work out. It simply means that they were not meant to be.

Just take a moment, look around, concentrate on your breath, and enjoy the infinite loop. Have a nice day!