Depression: the demon you can beat
In 2013 I was this girl whose life seemed to go towards a good direction.
I was in a stable relationship and had many friends who cared about me. I was speaking four languages, pretty good at photography and drawing, crazy about books, I was writing a lot and my grades were very good. Now, three years later I am drinking alone in a bar at 2 p.m on a sunny Monday.
It's like I just woke up from a coma, I barely can remember who I am, I don't know what happened, how did I get here and the worst of all it's that there is no one here with an answer.
I was diagnosed with depression last year. Went to the doctor because I was having a very poor sleep. It has never occurred to me that it might be depression even though, apart from the three years I have spent in college, all my life has been a dark place. When I left the cabinet, I was crying. And I've cried still all my way to home. It was raining that day and each drop felt like a punch in the chest.
When you first hear the word "depression" from your doctor's mouth, two questions come to mind: 'Why?' and 'Who am I?'. Well, first of all, there are many reasons: sometimes it is because something it's just going wrong in your brain, sometimes might be because of something that has happened in your life and sometimes it is because you have been strong for a long time and now you're just exhausted. The brain is like a table made of solid wood: it can hold many heavy things and it seems that it will never break, until one day it just collapses. Our brain just gives up sometimes. It just starts shouting that it is tired. But, that doesn't mean that you can't fix that table. You can fix it. You can fix yourself!