Emotional baggage and how to live with it

If we live long enough we all will begin to carry with us all that emotional baggage wherever we go.

It is inevitable that it will happen. I know for myself I have plenty emotional baggage I carry around with me. Most days I just keep it on the inside, never letting anyone know what’s going on.

How many of us wish we could live the easy life we had so many years ago before all this emotional baggage built up inside of us?

What is emotional baggage?

Emotional baggage is an everyday expression with many varied but similar concepts, self-help movements, and other fields: its general concern is with any unresolved issues of an emotional nature, often with an implication that the emotional baggage is detrimental.

As a metaphorical image, it is carrying all the disappointments, wrongs, and trauma of the past around with one in a heavy load, such as the death of my daughter over 22 years ago. Also my divorce 15 years ago. many other events such as job loss, bankruptcy. Loss of relationships. The list can go on the longer we live our life.

We may have emotional baggage that we carry with us from our childhood to adulthood. Maybe many unresolved issues.

What can we do to fix or put our emotional baggage behind us

I think many of us in life let our emotional baggage define us and who we become. That may be a good thing for some as it may have allowed you to move beyond any baggage, to drive you to succeed in life no matter what they may be. But for most of us I believe that we let it hold us back and keep us stuck right where we are.

Steps to help us cope with our emotional baggage.

1. Write an honest list of the thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that you carry with you. Grab a pen and notebook, find a quiet spot, spend thirty to forty minutes thinking about them and writing them down. It is important to be honest and write down whatever comes to mind. Don’t judge what comes up, just take note.
2. Spend time with God in pray. Be able to release your troubles and what is on your mind to Him so we can move on. Now this may sound easy when it is in words but can be very difficult to do if we lack the faith to be able to turn it over to Him.
3. Reflect on each area and identify the thought/belief. Travel back in time and see where you picked up these items of baggage. Do you have trouble dealing with your loss of a loved one even if it’s been so many years ago. Do we carry fears that may be associated to that loss. Pain that someone else has caused us. Acknowledge the painful memories but don’t wallow in them. Write them down and move on to the next step.
4. If you are able to find at least one positive feeling associated with these emotional hurtful experiences and situations. Look for the good in life I wrote a blog post on this a week or so ago. This can help you claim power back into your life.
5. Practice patience in all you do, become more mindful of your day and the habits that we have. It takes time to begin to change your habits. Realize when we begin to feel the down side of our emotional baggage. Understand that’s fine to feel the way we do. Begin to replace our negative thoughts with positive thoughts, by learning some positive affirmations that you can begin to repeat to yourself.

Remember we can not hold a negative thought and a positive though in our mind at the same time so replace it with a positive memory or thought. Call it your happy place.

6. Lastly take the focus off yourself and look to make a difference in someones elses life. Subscribe to my 30 day challenge to make a difference in someone. To improve their day by doing something that may not be like you. It can be something very simple as a

• Smile
• Saying something positive to them
• Helping them out
• Volunteering for an organization
• Letting them know how special they are
• Just be kind and friendly

Be on the look out to make someone’s day. Many people that we come in contact with each day may have it so much worse than we do, we may never even know because they may hide it well or we our consumed with all of our emotional baggage

Action steps

1. Make a list of your emotional baggage that you carry.
2. Find the positive in your life and begin to focus on that
3. Learn to replace your negative thoughts with your positive thoughts
4. Learn some positive affirmations — more to come on this in a later post
5. Lastly Subscribe to my Make A Difference 30 day challenge and see how that can change your outlook on life to live a better and more fulfilled life — Comment below if you plan to take my 30 challenge
6. Follow me on Facebook and Twitter