My Heart vs. My Mind

E-lay-nuh
E-lay-nuh
Aug 28, 2017 · 1 min read

I used to pour my guts on the page

I used to spill my heart out to you

But for some reason my words are vile

And they sting even in my mind

So I put them away and let them dissipate

Not just to protect you

But to protect my own feelings

Because I’m not feeling them right now.

I’m letting them go.

It’s easier to deal with

But I seem to be pushing you away

by not feeling anything

And that’s all the matter with me.

I can logically tell you what happened and why things happen,

but I have no emotion towards anything that matters anymore because it’s painful.

If I let myself care at home, all I feel is pain

If I let myself fall for you, I’m scared shitless of losing you

So it’s easier to pretend you’re not even mine to lose in the first place…. Pathetic

)

E-lay-nuh

Written by

I have everything I ever wanted and everything I need 💕 2/3/18

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