Thanks for taking the time and respond to me (I didn’t really expect you would at all, let alone so soon:)).
I don’t even know where to begin- well, I started by letting out a lungful of air, in a long frustrated sigh -but I’ll try to make my point in some sort of order in hopes of making sense eventually. First off, I want to make it clear that I’m not trying to counter you, we as women are just trying to make things get through to the others, since everybody complains that they are not mind readers and that things should be spelled out clearly and that in fact that’s why things happen to us, but then when we do that, we’re chastised for that, and I think this is exactly what is happening to the author of the post that started this thread. So, damned if we do, damned if we don’t:/. You talk about a certain social setup. What would that be? That women are encouraged to go out there and live a life where they can reap whatever they strive for like any other normal human being? That they look for that special and unique human connection? Some say that we already have that and that we should stop ‘whining’. That nothing ugly happens to us and that those who claim that it does are plain out liars-especially when it comes to rape and equal opportunity and retribution. I’m sure you’ve noticed that, at least on this platform. As you put it, women should not put themselves in a position of danger. What would that mean? Not go out in the sun alone? Not engage in any form of contact with men? Not wear ‘enticing’ outfits? Restrict the hours when we are out? Not aim for certain types of careers? Wait for men to pick us like apples from the apple tree to be sure that they are well-intended? Not drink, eat, smoke or have fun except in secluded isolated areas for women only for men not to ‘misread' our intentions? Hell, that all was the setup for women until very recently in history, and it still is in many parts of the world. Let’s all take up wearing burkas, why don’t we? For men not to be misled and teased, because, n’est pas, they are basic blubbering idiots, weak at getting a hold of that pesky species preservation instinct and they are a mess and simply can’t control themselves. I refuse to make such insults towards males. I am utterly sure that this is not their nature. If it were, why would we need so much expensive sophisticated weaponry to fight those fundamentalist factions in the Middle East and other places? All we’d need would be an army of strippers who would start winding their scantily clad bodies, and those men’s brains would turn to mush, drop their weapons and they would be done with. So, the point is that everything lies on the mindset and changing that, and it takes a LOT of time and it is done tiny step by tiny step. And one of the steps is exposing facts and talking about them out in the open and often. And, why not, empathizing. That’s why what and how you responded to that post came across as somewhat inappropriate, because it sounded like berating the woman and not laying an ounce of blame on the man. It came across as, once again, putting the burden of responsibility on the her and her alone, even if you didn’t mean it like that. Once again, it sent the subliminal message that men are never really to blame to all those that even such an unintended message like that is all they need to keep at it. You didn’t say anything clearly admonishing the male counterpart in that story and I think you should have, so, of course the author felt put down again. It felt like someone beating down on a dead tired horse instead of trying to relieve some of the load. It would have been a big help from you, as a man, to have done that in a more obvious and upfront way, because the lesson is learned faster and better when it is taught by a peer party, I’m sure you know that as a teacher.
I’ll stop here. I hope your eyes haven’t glossed over by now and you didn’t find all my ranting boring. If it did, oh well, there’s only so much I can do, we’re used to that.
BTW, I understand you’re from Albania? Well, I’m from Romania, so we’re sort of neighbours. If that’s the case: Howdy, neighbour:)!