Welcome to the world’s best texting game. I could be wrong but I don’t know anyone that sends 3 unanswered texts in a row over 3 weeks and then eventually gets a date. Below, I’ll discuss some of the thought process behind it and then go into some technique.

The problem with guys is that they lack patience and think that impetuous bravado (“If she doesn’t respond, then screw her man!”) is a sign of selectiveness and confidence rather than ignorance and fear.

Women are different than men. And no more so than in the arena of romance. Here is the key insight: attraction for a man is an event; whereas, attraction for women is a process. Ever see a woman walk down the street with cat calls all around her? A man sees a woman and instantly knows he is drawn to her. Every cell in his body is tingling! But when a woman sees a man, she might like him sexually while still having many doubts. “Is he a rapist? Needy? Arrogant? A player?” In some ways, a man’s attraction is at its peak upon first sight. That’s when anything is possible. That is, anything good. For women, their attraction is likely only at its very beginning since, again, anything is possible. But there are many bad outcomes for a woman with a man. Women need time to truly become attracted to a man.

Not only this, but a man’s attraction is generally static and unchangeable, at least, in the beginning phases; whereas, a woman’s attraction can ebb and flow with a single well placed word or poorly timed joke. For me, a girl would have to be a neo-Nazi, bacon hating, illiterate yahoo to turn me off once she has turned me on. But I have seen many good looking men, after getting strong eye contact from a woman, fall flat on their faces after opening their mouths. While it’s nearly impossible to change a man’s mind about a woman in the initial phase, a woman’s will shift and change like the wind — even at the drop of a text!

Men are obsessed with finding out if a woman is into him because he thinks that women are like men. He thinks that their attraction is largely immutable and steady; that it happens in one massive explosion as it does for him. When the man texts her for the first time after obtaining her number and she doesn’t respond, he usually makes the ultimate helpless testosterone response: “Well, screw her man. What does she want me to do, beg? What a shallow b**.” This is ignorance and fear. He doesn’t consider the possibility that she might actually be attracted to him and, at the same time, still not text him back! It’s phenomena like this that has earned women the title of ‘crazy’. But, according to what was discussed above, this is quite rational. For example, I’m not privvy to any statistics, but I’m sure there have been a number of attractive, confident rapists. Women are wise to not always respond to everyone that was charming enough to obtain their number. Men must reinterpret everything according to the female paradigm of attraction, not their own. Otherwise, they will continue to miss opportunities to progress further with women and stunt their overall growth in the romantic arena.

Consider the screen shot text at the top of this entry. The girl, in gray, says that she doesn’t have time to date and simply hopes to see me in our local salsa club. Even as recent as a few months ago, I would have taken this as a blow off. And in some ways, it is. But it’s not a permanent blow off. That’s the key. Knowing now the female tendency towards circumspection, I know that this is simply a, “You’re not attractive enough…yet.” Not yet. There’s still a chance! In this moment, where so many men want to end the interaction, it is actually extremely important to extend it. The very thing that she needs in order to build more attraction is further information and yet so many men deny her this by ending the interaction prematurely. My response, in green, is essentially an invitation for her to gain more information. She seems to readily accept!

How far can you take this? If a woman says ‘no’, and only if a woman says ‘no’, is when you should end the interaction (or, at least, extend the timing to once per year. Texting once per year is not onerous for the receiving person. And you never know, things could change.) I’ve blind texted (that is, consecutive texting with no response) a girl for up to 4 weeks before getting my first response. Two months later, I ended up taking this girl on a date!

Texting to extend the interaction will significantly increase your percentages. Out of 30 girls approached, I used to average 1–3 dates. But now, after applying this knowledge, I average 3–5 dates. Though it may take a little more time with the follow up, it greatly reduces time spent on approaching girls. Also, and this is a caveat, it greatly increases your success in other arenas such as dating skills and sexual escalation since it is a huge confidence booster. This was a suprise. My confidence took a huge leap forward by doing something that I used to think was weak and desperate. By simply deciding to pursue, despite her misgivings, I put myself in a position of leadership. And men feel at their romantic best when they are leading a woman.