Resistance mechanism no 14: waiting for others to join you
Anyone connected with the start-up world will tell you that whenever an investor is looking for a new company to purchase, he looks for a good team. A good team seems to largely increase the chances for the success of the product. Or so we are told. Over and over again. So, when you are about to start your dream project it seems only natural to look for a dream team yourself. To get someone on board who will share your challenges and help you through the creative dip.
I am so, so guilty on falling into this pitfall Resistance so neatly prepared for me. Being a social creature I worried that faced with an individual struggle, I will get lonely. And I didn’t want to be lonely. So, I kept on looking for “partners in crime”. I got myself involved in a team after team only to realize the the dreams of the team were not my dreams. That led to the relationships hitting the rock bottoms, people getting sour and me staying behind dissapointed and, well, lonely.
It took me years to realize that loneliness is not a bad thing. That this is the gift unconsciously offered by Resistance, somewhat not having this particular mechanism thought as well though as it imagined. Loneliness is everything I needed to finally get to the point of clearly seeing that it is only me, no one else, who can make my dreams come through. To make my project done the way I imagined.
I am not saying that having a team is a bad idea. But the team needs to be there for the tasks that help to push your project further. They cannot be there to make your project for you. Your project needs to be done by one person and one person only. You. No one else is there to make it happen with all the perks involved in it: excitement, doubt, flow, worry, pain and happiness. They are all the part of your trip. They are not to be offloaded to others. If we don’t live through all these feeling, it means we are not doing our part of the job as they are the inherent part of our path. The path to grow. To become remarkable. Even if only in our own eyes.
Other stories about my battles with Resistance:
— Resistance mechanism no 13: I am too old for it