Don’t be a little bitch…

Growing up on the small island of Jamaica and hearing people constantly complain about life and all its nuisances, turned me into a modern day Thomas Hobbes (complete pessimist/pussy). My cowardice approach to life is best embodied by an event that occured when I was in high school. I was bullied by two girls, who promised me a well deserved stabbing after school. It’s pretty safe to say that a good old stabbing would send any 110lb female running to the hills, but being that I was already a pussy, this event scared me into oblivion.

The crux of that story is that they didn’t stab me, but I never went back to school. In fact, I ran all the way to America to finish school and then attended college — that was definitely a pussy move. To top things off I came here and was faced with another issue and decided that I would run to another state (I didn’t move to another state, but I played with the idea for a long time). Every obstacle that I faced was punctuated by long talks with myself on how to run away. I never wanted to face anything and so for most of my life I was running. I ran away from heartbreaks, failure, scoldings, love, rejections, anything you can think about, I can tell you that I have run away from it.

One day after one of my “I should run away” talks with myself, I felt tired. It was the type of fatigue that one felt after running a marathon. But I was laying on my bed, and I hadn’t done anything worthy of that type of fatigue , so how was I tired?

I thought about this for awhile, until I slowly realized that I was tired of devising plans on how to avert problems. The constant aversion led to a type of mental fatigue that to this day, I cannot fully describe to anyone. I got out of bed, sat on my wine stained carpet and stared at an ugly painting on my wall that I regretted buying. It was here in that moment that I found the formula to life. Life is shit-hole filled with disappointments, and shitty people, I’m sure many of us wish we could have seen a preview to our lives before subscribing or buying the full demo. But here we are, so how do we deal with it?

Well, the first part of the equation is to realize reality. Yup, you have to accept what things are and try not to get hung up on what they should be. I should be a millionaie, yet here I am writing away on a free app, with $3.00 to my name. When you accept where and who you are in life, it becomes a bit more palpable.

The second part of the equation is mulitplying the good by two. Because life is so shitty we tend to overlook the snippets of good, so to savor the good we have to overplay their significance (multiply it by 2). Take for example someone says they love your ugly shirt, take that fucking compliment and run with it for the entire day. Make that compliment matter, feel good about yourself and in the words of Beyonce, “SLAY” for the rest of your day. Doing stuff like that is like taking a shot of confidence in your coffee. So find the good in small things and make them count.

The last part of the equation is to not be a little bitch. OK, so that was a bit harsh, but what I mean to say is stop running through life. When I say running through life, I mean stop going through the motions and not feeling anything. If your heart is broken, feel it and cry, let the sadness cripple you. If you’re scared feel it, live in the moment. Don’t let the disappointments and negativity rule you. Don’t live in the shadows of life and don’t run away from problems — face them like a champ and kick ass (you probably wont kick ass every time, but at least you’ll get tough).

I’m not afraid of life and you shouldn’t be either. Don’t be a little bitch.

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