CAPACITY
Self-unawareness is a disease. A human disease. When it is compounded by dishonesty, to intentionally call a spade a hoe because of an unfleeting loyalty to institutional prejudice, the slope becomes extra slippy, down into the coldest part of hell. You become embalmed in the blinding oils of your illusion. Blinding oils of your illusion seems verbose to me - I think some call this a bubble in some quaters. A bubble. A coffin. Yes. That.
A certain man struggled with the rigour and stress of creating and maintain a company. He started the journey from his room, and only God knows how many liters of sweat had to be used to keep his determination and intestinal fortitude afloat the turbulent sea of pessmism, stress, and the obstacles of life. For ten years, this man struggled to keep the flames of his passion from the cold unfriendly air and boom! He succeeded. Did I say after ten years? Yeah. His company became a household sensation. He has arrived. Well, I am not saying he wouldn’t had to fight some unrepentant devils on that new level, but he has learnt the art of staying above the demonic realms.
Imagine one certain cold evening, over a chilling bottle of Best, a friend advised him to absorb another big company located a thousand inches from his.
"Why should I take this merge?" Our successful friend asked?
"I don’t know. It just feels right. Your friends are doing it. They are absorbing companies all around them. I just think it is the best thing to do." Our adviser replied.
We do not need to stressfully extract the immense stupidity of the friend’s statement. But if you need an illustration to balance this tale, let me help you.
Life before marriage could be likened to the rigours and stress of starting and keeping a company. The only difference is that we were born into this stress. We do not have a choice. The consequences of these stressful chronicles, before the big break, is that, sometimes, we end up building the capacity to sustain and maintain our survival and ours alone.
If it would be gigantically stupid to tell our rich friend to merge another company with his, without considering and evaluating the capacity he has on ground already, why do we think it logically astute and existentially normal to shame people to get married, who have decided, rather unconsciously sometimes, to manage their little single life with the speed they are familiar with?
Is it because we assume everyone should already have the capacity for relationships? Or we think it is unnecessary?
Life is hard on its own. It sucks sometimes. It cloud nine sometimes. But the decision to invite another soul into the ship of our lives that we still struggle to control is baffling to say the least. These are souls with different and unfamiliar stress patterns and breaking points which often, at times, are hidden from tangible view.
Capacity matters!
We shouldn't tell people to get married because we just feel they should get married. No one should just feel to be involved in building life-demanding structures. The costs should be counted. Sacrifices must be considered. Capacity must be measured.
Personally, take an inventory of your constitution. Honestly evaluate the fathoms of your depth. Do not coat the rusts in your soul with, I don't know, sugar? Can we sugar-coat rusts? Be meticulous in identifying the weak and strong points. After you have enumerated the measurements, ask the question "Am I fit enough to get married?" Nah! That sounds pedestrian.
The question should be "Do I have enough capacity to house another soul on the journey of love".
That still felt pedestrian to me 😒 but I think you got the point.
The post will only be relevant in cultures where single men and women are daily pressured by marriage demands by families and friends.
