Impressions III — I will never see you smile again
The finality of loss
Have you ever wondered how composers name their songs? I like to think that some parsed the songs though the corridors of their emotions and came up with the title that felt right at the moment. Occasionally, there may be missteps along the way, as some titles fail to capture the essence of the composition. However, there are instances when the perfect alignment is achieved, where the title fits snugly like a perfectly tailored garment. Earl Klugh’s evocative composition, I Will Never See You Smile Again, stands as a testament to such harmonious convergence, leaving one incapable of envisioning an alternative name that could encapsulate its essence with such profound accuracy.
In the days of my guitar learning, I would immerse myself in a plethora of Jazz guitar melodies, eagerly seeking inspiration from revered musicians like George Benson, Wes Montgomery, and Earl Klugh. The first time I heard I will never see you smile again, I was blind to its depth. My quest for compositions characterized with intricate phrases and challenging styles of play left me initially unimpressed by its simplicity. However, with the passage of time, a profound realization dawned upon me, unveiling the profound beauty hidden within this composition. And when that moment of revelation finally arrived, it overwhelmed me, breaking down the walls I had unknowingly built, and stirring emotions deep within my being.
It took me years of losses and heartbreaks; years of setbacks and fumbling. In those experiences I was made to stand face to face with the finality of life, the inevitability of death, and the sobering certainty that all things eventually succumb to decay.
The song did not initially evoke feelings of mortality within me, as I had yet to experience the loss of someone dear. But Death and Dying works in mysterious ways. The enigmatic workings of fate have, at times, imposed physical and psychological distances that separate me from cherished friends and beloved family members and if the hands of fate do not write it into our scroll, I know that I will never see them smile again. There exist echoes of past romantic connections, where we once shared the flames of passion from the same cauldron but we stumbled and fell out. Hard! The bridges that once bound us are now submerged in the depths of forgetfulness and resentment. For sure, I will never see their smile again.
I think of death every day. The Great Eventuality. We have a saying in Nigeria — “It is sure as death”. Death is certain. Every living thing, idea, person, concept, place will die. One day, it will crumble and fall and dissolve into the ether never to be seen again. I have imagined the death-day of all my loved ones. I have imagined where I would be when it happens and how I would receive the news. Will it be through a phone call? A text? Or I will be there, holding them in my hands, as they breathe their last? Will I bear witness to the weightiness of their departing essence, as they are forced to relinquish their earthly abode? How will I feel when I witness the solemn act of lowering my parents into the earth’s embrace? Will I cry? Will I be inconsolable? How will I feel after a year? Or two? Or five? Will my life be forever dented by their loss? Will I survive that impact? And what if the script of life takes an unforeseen turn, and I find myself departing this world before them? How will my mother feel? Will my Dad survive my loss? Will the scroll of my siblings’ lives forever bear the indelible stain of my untimely exit?
Anytime I listen to I will never see you smile again, a vivid cascade of thoughts like these unfurls within my mind, akin to the words displayed on a luminous electronic billboard. Don’t blame me. Earl played those strings as if he were attempting to convey a longing for someone dearly missed. Bob, on the keys, weaved a mournful tapestry that seems to lament the inevitable demise of all things. When they got to the solos, Bob’s lingering notes sounded as if he didn’t want to let go. Like he was trying to hold on the existence of something or someone in those notes. Earl’s solo sounded to my soul like an essay. It’s like although he mourns, he has made peace with the loss and promises to cherish those memories and keep them forever. From 3:35 to the end of the song, I felt a haunting presence of the desire to hold on to the ever dissolving smile; the loop between the stubborn reality of hopelessness and the vulgar taunts and scoffs of hope.
I sincerely don’t know how to end this article. Every attempt at expansion has been deleted. It sounded cold and bland to me. So I fed ChatGPT fragments of the article and told it to write something encouraging about smile and to input some experiences of mine. This is it: Amidst the ebb and flow of life, let us cherish the beauty of every passing smile and hold dear the radiant expressions of our loved ones. For there are moments when the memory of a smile becomes the essence of someone’s being, an indelible imprint etched upon our hearts. Even amidst the chaotic rhythm of Lagos traffic, I recall a poignant encounter with a lady selling groundnuts. In the sweltering heat, her smile emerged like a fleeting gem, illuminating the bustling surroundings. Though our interaction was but a fleeting moment, that captivating smile has forever left an indelible mark upon my soul.
It serves as a gentle reminder that within the tapestry of life, it is often the simplest yet most profound gestures that leave an enduring impact. So let us seize the present, embracing the opportunity to witness and treasure the smiles that grace our lives. For in the end, it may be those cherished moments of shared warmth and joy that persist as cherished memories, sparking a cascade of gratitude and reminding us of the boundless power of a single smile
Still bland, Me thinks.
